When you’ve clocked up a couple of million in your online-only fee-free checking account, there’s only one sport befitting of your status, and that pastime is golf. It’s no surprise then that some of the world’s wealthiest rappers have flocked to the links. So with the Masters Tournament in full effect this weekend, here’s five rap chaps who wouldn’t look farcical in plaid Penfold pants.
1. Death Row’s Golfing Tournament
You haven’t experienced the unfettered glory of the Internet until you have entered “Nate Dogg golf club incident” into a Google search. That string will bring up footage of the time the Death Row ranks hit the links for the day — a ruse which soon descended into a brawl after the Row’s in-house crooner, Nate Dog, faced off against Eazy-E’s charges B.G. Knocc Out and Dresta while wielding a golf club in a manner that contravened clubs rules. For good measure, rap stoners Method Man and Redman were also on the course at the time, prompting the former to tell the camera, “I love this game!”
2. De La Soul’s Glow-In-The-Dark Golf Course
De La Soul’s 1989 debut album, Three Feet High & Rising, was fronted with cover art utilizing the then-briefly-hip day glow color scheme. It’s an image the group would later go on to complain about, but at the time they delighted in telling magazines (it was the olden days) that they were planning to spend their profits setting up a night-time golf course with glow-in-the-dark balls and flags. The trio never put their plans into action – but it would have made great fodder for a concept album.
3. Bad Boy World Champion P.G.A. Tour
“Hello, welcome to the Bad Boy World Champion P.G.A. Tour. I’m your host for the day, Mase Gumball. With this last birdie right here Puffy Woods [can] win the champion from the three time champion Fuzzy Bad-Feet. Silence, audience…” So introduces Ma$e in the spoof golf tourney opening for the euphoric Notorious B.I.G. song “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems.” Alas, though, the main rapping sections of the video ditch the concept to instead show the Bad Boys galavanting around in some sort of rickety spaceship Puff and Big presumably bought from the Muppets’ Pigs In Space crew.
4. Scarface vs. Tiger Woods
Scarface’s credentials as a superb lyricist are well established, but less willfully acknowledged is the Geto Boys’ mainstay’s talent on the links. ’Face took up the sport for relaxation purposes, but was then bitten by the competitive bug; after telling AOL that he respected Vijay Singh’s ability to swing, he then bragged that he’d happily take on Tiger Woods in a swift challenge on the back nine: “Tiger Woods, on the other hand, I might kick Tiger’s ass.”
5. Lark On My Golf Kart
Kitted out in a green knitted v-neck sweater, light-green golfing cap with bobble, vibrant red shorts, matching knee-length socks, and brown and white brogues, Biz Markie’s attire in his “Spring Again” video is sports casual as its definitive finest. The flick also features Biz and crew larking around on golf carts — a jape which young rap caddies Rockie Fresh and Casey Veggies couldn’t resist repeating for last year’s “Duckin ’N’ Dodgin'” video. Real life rap Mario Kart, anyone?