Flirting With Fiddy: An Analysis (NSFW)

[caption id="attachment_24149" align="alignnone" width="640" caption="50 Cent in 2007. Photo: Johnny Nunez/WireImage"]"50 Cent"[/caption]

At this point in 50 Cent’s career, the most apt descriptor to put in front of his name is “part-time rapper and full-time Tweeter.” @50cent is one of the music industry’s most followed and prolific Twitter accounts, and the most vocal of his 5.6 million Tweeps seem to be females hypnotized by some sort of digital-lure, with countless cyber-groupies sending Curtis Jackson their almost-nude photos and explicit sexual offers, not worrying a lick about their husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/children/bosses stumbling upon the tweets.

Fiddy, of course, loves the attention and frequently retweets these messages. But we at Hive have been wondering: with 5.6 million people vying for 50’s attention, how does he choose which ones to scoop up from Twitter’s slurry?

We recently conducted a thorough analysis to decode the ever-expanding, horrifically graphic, grammar-deficient world of Twitter-flirting with 50 Cent. We scoured Tweetstats.com to come up with his key Twitter musings and compared that to the women that appear on the Tumblr FiddysBiddies, which catalogs the best of 50 Cent’s Twitter flirtations. What follows is some insight into the make-up of Fiddy’s Biddies, and shall serve as a comprehensive look at what it takes to earn a retweet from the complex Casanova known as 50 Cent.

Activity

At the time of Hive's deep dive, Fiddy had amassed 6,631 tweets, an average of nine per day over the last three years. Historically, his Twitter account is most active on Saturdays, so if you’re hoping to get your cyber-flirt on with him, that’s your best bet. If you do happen to tweet him on another day, broken down by hour he’s most active between 9pm and 2am. See graphs:

"50 Cent Tweet Graph 1"

50 Biddy Graph

 

Next, we examined some of @50cent’s most-used words to see how they correlated with various flirtation methods. Below, we have laid out the trends and patterns that emerged.

Laughter

50 Cent has a tough exterior, but like Shakira’s hips, the facts don’t lie: he’s a giggler at heart. LOL is the most common word on his feed, showing up 1,239 times. When you throw in “funny,” “hahaha” and “LMAO,” roughly one quarter of his tweets are comprised of laughter. Thus, if a Tweet appeals to 50 Cent’s funny bone, it is 25% more likely to be retweeted by the man himself. The following exchange is representative of this effect:

"Fiddy Biddy 1"

Raunch

Of course, in lieu of the funny bone you could just aim for the erogenous zone. The words “ass,” “fuck,” “sexy” and the like appear in roughly 10% of Tweets by @50cent. He’s been known to reply to the most suggestive Tweeters with instructions about inserting a certain item into their mouths, or telling the woman to fondle herself. But many of his Biddies are just as filthy as he is. See below:

"50 Cent Biddy 2"

Love

It’s not all vile cyber-smut, we promise! Here’s your palate cleanser: The man who rapped “I’m into havin’ sex, I ain’t into makin’ love” is actually a romantic. “Love” is the fourth most common word on his feed with 538 mentions. Fiddy often retweets women who profess their love, propose, or offer to take care of him. And if you have children, it seems that wont scare him off, which is ... nice? What this all means is that you don’t have to offer sexual services or show skin to become a Fiddy Biddie.

"50 Cent Biddy 3"

...though that strategy certainly works, too.

Flattery

Like any powerful man, 50 Cent wants to hear how great he is. But at least he’s gracious about it -- “thanks” and “thank” appear in 6% of his tweets. So go ahead and flatter him; comment on his fantastic musical oeuvre, his impeccable physique, his witty banter, or stunning good looks:

"50 Cent Biddy"

Conclusions

After rigorous scientific analysis, Hive has concluded that your chances of becoming one of Fiddy’s Biddies are optimized when your Tweet exhibits at least three of the following characteristics: eroticism, romanticism, praise, humor, and skin. Basically, this:

"50 Cent Biddy"

 

Images via Fiddysbiddies.tumblr.com