Hive Five: Fun Fun Fun Fest's Best Alternatives

[caption id="attachment_18127" align="alignleft" width="640" caption="Anarchy Championship Wrestling at Fun Fun Fun Fest, Austin, Tx., 2010"][/caption]

Photo: Rebecca Seung, Get Bent. Used with permission.

The sixth edition of Austin’s Fun Fun Fun Fest gets underway this weekend and it's aboutas eclectic as it gets for a mid-sized festival. Were you a nerdy junior high student in the early '90s with a penchant for Rick Rubin? Check out Slayer, Danzig or Public Enemy. Are you a music blogger with your finger on the pulse of what’s happening right now? How about Childish Gambino, Odd Future and M83. Tatted-up metal dude with a mad-on for hipsters? Avoid Lykke Li and Major Lazer and catch Cannibal Corpse and Eyehategod instead. In short, the festival really aims to provide something for everyone.

That extends even to people who get sick of live music after a while. If your ears need a break, or if you’re just more interested in seeing a weird happening, here's five options that put more "fun" into this year's Fun Fun Fun Fest.

1. Anarchy Championship Wrestling

It’s not just music fans who thrive on punk rock spirit and the notion that "The Man" has choked the life out of everything that made the artform great – pro wrestling enthusiasts have that same gripe, too, apparently. To that end, the punk-minded ACW will be staging bouts all three days of Austin’s Fun Fun Fun Fest. Fact: Nobody ever gets hit with a chair on stage at Lollapalooza.

2. Veggie Hot Dog Eating Contest

Hot dog eating contests are kind of passé at this point, but the game changes a bit when you make them veggie dogs -- now you’re talking about food that most rational people won’t even eat one of. With toppings like “black bean and espresso vegan chili,” watching a bunch of beardos choke down a couple dozen of these things ought to be entertaining, to say the least

3. Page and Steve’s Fun Wedding

Okay, yes, this is an actual wedding. Who knows who Page and Steve are, but they’re probably a couple of real nice kids just trying to make a go of it in this crazy world of ours. At the very least, they’ll be serenaded by Sergio “Sexy Sax Man” Flores, playing the popular hits of George Michael, during the ceremony. Also on tap will be a “surprise guest officiant” – here’s hoping it’s Tyler from Odd Future's the officiant. (Not really.)

4. Air Sex

Sex is a time-honored part of music festivals dating back to Woodstock, at the very least, but usually it happens in tents -- or at least in the muddy area near the soundboard where no sane person would dream of going. The Air Sex competition is like air guitar, but with fake humping instead of fake instruments.

5. Comedy, Comedy, Comedy

In addition to all of that unclassifiable weirdness, Fun Fun Fun Fest features a robust lineup of stand-ups and other live comedy performers. This year’s headliners include Henry Rollins -- whose set is scheduled to end just in time for the big guy to catch Slayer’s headlining performance, naturally -- as well as Brian Posehn, Chappelle Show co-creator Neal Brennan, the touring company of the Upright Citizen’s Brigade, and live MST3K-ing from Austin’s Master Pancake Theater.