"The crotch would work just like regular genitalia, but would do everything with a face."

So begins the treatment for director Keith Schofield's hysterically disturbing video for Duck Sauce's "The Big Bad Wolf." Released earlier this week, the video superimposes the heads of Duck Sauce members A-Trak and Armand Van Helden onto the nether regions of two hapless, horny men and serves as the new "car accident" video template that equally attracts and repels.

"When I first heard the song, the first image that came to mind was men walking around a city swinging massive four-foot cocks," Schofield tells Hive. "I knew we couldn't do that, so I tried to think of something that could capture that same feeling. I came up with the [final] idea, but it was A-Trak's idea for him and Armand to play the crotchfaces. I never in a million years would have guessed they would want to do it."

We'll give you a minute to digest the word "crotchfaces" before continuing.

The two producers/surrogate dicks get washed, scrubbed, sprayed, trimmed, and urinated out of before hitting the club, where they find equally suited partners and … well, you just kind of need to see the rest for yourself.

Schofield linked with the group earlier this year after directing Chromeo lead singer and A-Trak's brother Dave 1 in "Don't Turn the Lights On," where they were inspired by Aphex Twin's "Windowlicker" and a Japanese ad featuring a giant squirrel with oversized balls.

The director is hardly stunned by the Internet's collective reaction of "You don't want to see this, but I'm e-mailing it anyway." "I thought it was really funny on set, and when I started cutting, I knew it was going to work out," the director says. "I'm not surprised by the huge reaction online -- over the years I've learned smut is incredibly popular on the Internet."

And if you're curious about the oral contents of that last scene: melted vanilla ice cream.