Huffington Post

48 Phrases Almost All Men Hear That Actually Hurt Everyone

This is the definition of 'toxic.'

The patriarchy hurts everyone. But, at times, it's easy to forget how the weight of masculine bravado and of a culture that prides aggressive, emotionless and (often) violent behavior affects men.

A new video from Huffington Post lets you hear it -- straight from the mouth of these men and boys.

It starts with the playground taunts: claims that boys shouldn't like pink, cry or "throw like a girl." Slowly, you start to see homophobia and misogyny color the ways they are "supposed" to act.

Eventually, that early misogyny, homophobia and disdain for all things feminine transforms into something domineering (and, duh, patriarchal) as a "real man" is supposed to take charge of his life -- especially as it concerns the women in his life. He shouldn't be bossed around or lose control of them.

Slowly, the faces of the men turn from boys to teenagers to middle-aged men until they reach a gray-haired man who says, almost as if he's excusing the violent, rage-filled rhetoric that came before him "It was a time when men were men."

When you actually look into the eyes of men and boys who repeat the damaging words they've undoubtedly heard in their lives, it's easier to put it into a larger context: Prescribing a gendered ideal -- especially one that celebrates domineering and ultimately violent attitudes -- can only do more harm and perpetuate a cycle of people who feel trapped by those parameters.

And, of course, nobody wins.

Watch the full video here: