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Kendrick Lamar Can't Run From His Power: 'I Know I'm Chosen'

'How much power do I want? How much can I handle?' he wonders in a new interview.

Kendrick Lamar had an unbelievable 2015.

His album, To Pimp A Butterfly, was adored, dissected and replayed by fans and critics. His singles were unconventional but beloved. "Alright" found its home as a protest anthem for Black Lives Matter. President Barack Obama named "How Much A Dollar Cost" as his favorite song of the year. Dot was nominated for 11 Grammys.

With all of that -- and, specifically, the content of his music, current and previous, as well as his approach and immense skill as a lyricist -- Kendrick has quickly ascended to rap's upper echelon. He understands this.

"I think about how I’m two projects in and you have the world saying I’m the one," he told XXL for their new cover story. "And I’m still trying to figure out who I even am. My little sister is 16, my little cousin is 20, my younger brother is 10, they all looking at me like that. When they friends around, they friends can’t walk pass me without asking a million questions about my lyrics. I can’t go to their schools without the same thing.

"Just having the amount of love and energy that these younger fans bring and how enthused they are from just talking with me about important topics. And I’m sitting there thinking, 'These kids are really listening to me.' But why am I the one to get this opportunity? And how do I keep that from going to my head and not have an ego? How do I balance it out?"

That's a struggle that he dealt with a bit on TPAB: "Why me?"

It's a question he won't likely be able to get an answer to from anyone -- other than maybe himself -- and one that he'll continues to have to grapple with, as the success continues to snowball, the inequality in this country continue to intensify, and the youth continues to look to him as a guiding voice.

It's hard to imagine being in this position. You fight for it your whole life. It's some of the reason that you make music, beyond your own therapy and expression. You want to be heard; yearn to be that voice. And then you become the voice. Now what?

"I know I’m chosen," he said. "I know I’m a favorite. I know in my heart there’s a whole other energy and leadership side of me that I have probably run from my whole life. How much power do I want? How much can I handle? That’s the question I keep asking myself. ’Cause when you are a voice for the youth, nothing can stop you. The youth is what changes things. Can I lead that? Should I? I get confused because people are championing me to be that vocal point and it’s a challenge for me to be that because I have some fear of that type of power. This goes back to me being who I naturally am or who think that I am now, that 28-year-old kid that’s kind’ve a recluse. But 28 is old enough for me to figure out who I am and have that power at the same time, that’s the battle and it’s a trip."

He's going to keep fighting that battle. And we're going to keep winning because of it.

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