All season long, we've kept a side-eye slanted at the Chanels as major suspects of their own undoing, and during the two-hour finale of "Scream Queens" -- which aired on Tuesday (Dec. 8) -- we got the blow-by-blow on how exactly one of the Kappa Kappa Tau pledge sisters came to be the big bad that terrorized the house for so many weeks.
It was Hester, guys.
Yes, Neckbrace aka Chanel No. 6 aka Lea Michelle was the one who ran around in the second Red Devil costume, helping Boone and Gigi rain down terror on all the Kappas. Not only that, but she successfully pointed the finger at pretty much all of the senior sisters and it totally worked.
Pete's kill countFox
Yes, Pete (Diego Bonita) meant what he said during last week's episode when he revealed that he is a murderer. But is he one of the Red Devil killers? "No. Well, yes. Well, no, but sorta." (Translation: Nahhh.)
See, Pete was there the night the second security guard got axed in her car, and he followed the Red Devil killer -- Boone (Nick Jonas) -- into the Dickey Dollar Scholars' house to confront him. But it didn't take much to convince the formerly good school journo that the Red Devil's mission was not unlike his own. After all, they both hate the "dinosaur" of a Greek system and think the Kappas are the worst. As the old adage says, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
But for a Greek life-hating organization, the Red Devil killers are surprisingly harsh hazers and required Pete to prove his new-found allegiance by way of knocking his death count off the 0 mark once and for all. And he started with Roger (or was it Dodger? Who can tell the difference).
He tried to play it off like it was all Grace (Skyler Samuel)'s idea in the first place because she once responded to his McConaughey accented-ramblings with, "Maybe the Red Devil has the right idea," but he lost her when he started quoting Nietzsche. "You’re already a murderer. You don’t have to be a douche as well," she rightly tells him.
She's also unimpressed that he made a deal to save her, so that's when he whips out the trump card to her immediate exit and promises to reveal the other other Red Devil killer (you know, the only one who hasn't been ID-ed yet). "Spoiler alert, it’s one of your sisters."
Too bad whoever it was (cough Hester cough) has impeccable timing because he didn't get to finish that sentence before he got a knife in the chest, and Grace found herself being knocked TF out.
The missive to end all missivesFox
Chanel (Emma Roberts) officially found herself persona non grata after a scathing e-mail meant for her KKT sisters who failed her was forwarded to everyone at Wallace University. Whoops.
And while she's all eaten up inside about being called "Satan in a gold dress" and "the worst person alive," her exterior is still tough AF as she tells the media her official statement on the matter is simply, "You can all suck it." Thatagirl.
She decides to kill herself by way of asp bite a la Cleopatra, but she too has a "useless manatee brain" and accidentally orders a harmless garter snake in a sweater instead.
Good thing Zayday (Keke Palmer) shows up in time to diffuse the situation and offer an olive branch to her former house enemy.
"Maybe this is where you learn the lesson that words really mean something, and they can hurt people. So you can’t always say the first horrible thing that pops into your head all the time," she notes of Chanel's obvious case of butthurt before adding, "This is the moment when you and I join forces to catch this killer and rebuild KKT into something everybody can be proud of. And we’re going to do it together." Yayyyy co-prez cooperation!
Poor pizza guyFox
When a guy in a Red Devil killer costume came in and got taken down by the very sight of a snake, we knew it couldn't be the the big bad. But he did offer up a clue before being blown to smithereens: Whoever strapped him with C4 was wearing a veil (to cover up scars?), so the Chanels figure it must be Michelle Dorkus, who thinks Chanel burned her face off back in the day. Time for an apology tour.
The most important playlist everFox
Wes (Oliver Hudson) is charged with taking one for the team to, um, distract Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) while Zayday and Grace research Hester's transcripts, but he ends up being pretty into it and asks her the gross version of going steady. And she's a bit surprised but agrees to be his lady love if and only if she'll get Grace "to go bye-bye for a while."
Eye for an eyeFox
The only person who wasn't present for Chanel's visit with Michelle Dorkus -- who is saved by Grace and her DNA results that peg Hester as the other baby in the bathtub -- was Chanel No. 6 herself. But No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) also looks awfully suspicious when she finally gets her first Tinder swipe right and it's the guy from Nickelback.
The girls all rush home to accuse Hester of being the Red Devil killer based on Grace's research -- which revealed that Hester's social is 123-45-6789, that she lives on Sesame Street and went to Sweet Valley High -- they find her sprawled out on the floor with a high heel stuck in her eye.
She did it herself, of course, but they don't know that.
Everybody (else) gets arrestedFox
That's when Hester, whose eye is miraculously unharmed because she did her homework (!!) on how to successfully stab oneself in the eye without damaging the optic nerve, starts pointing fingers. Literally.
She pegs Chanel No. 5 as a baddie by getting her parents (who think their daughter "sucks" and have been ready to "disown her" since she started talking) to back up the story that she was actually adopted from Gigi. Then No. 3 is convinced that her split personality Dirty Helen is a complete psychopath who kills people. And finally, Chanel is framed for buying murdery tools from the home store with her Diners Club card.
It's all enough to convince Chief Denise (Niecy Nash) that she should bring in her team -- a bunch of deputized former police strippers -- and take all these "rich dumb hoes" downtown.
Dean Munsch knows it's Hester who rounded out the Red Devil killer crew, and she feels "a responsibility to all those dead kids that their killer be brought to justice" -- even if the results are pretty sweet for her, since the campus is finally the culture-loving institution she hoped it would be. Oh, and she's a best-selling "author."
"I remember that little girls’ face in the bathroom that night. It’s burned into my memory, like Joe Theisman’s injury, 'Two Girls One Cup.' I remember every detail of her face," she tells Hester. When she threatens to turn her in and exonerate the trio of jailed Chanels, Hester co-threatens to turn her in for covering up the Bathtub Baby Incident and, ya know, killing her husband and framing his mistress.
The Palmer Asylum for the InsaneFox
The Chanels' trial was, as Chanel herself puts it, a kangaroo court of sorts, and even though the jury was originally going to declare the girls not guilty, Chanel interrupts the jury forewoman and points out that this is not a jury of their peers.
They end up finding her guilty, and the judge sentences the three of them to a life sentence in an insane asylum, but that actually turns out to work well for the blonde trio because here, No. 3 can fully commit to her true sexuality, No. 5 is taking meds that make her "tolerable" to Chanel, and Chanel can eat whatever she wants here because "there were no boys to stay skinny for."
Bonus? A unanimous vote makes her house president. Lots of YASes for her.
Until a Red Devil killer appears perched over her bedside with a knife, that is, because cliffhangers ... dun dun dun.