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Here's A Photo Of A Human-Sized Lizard Scaling A House -- Sweet Dreams

Kill it with fire/a nuclear bomb.

Guys, fair warning: You may never sleep again after seeing this. An Australian man recently heard a ruckus in his yard, and spotted a FIVE-FOOT-LONG monitor lizard on the ground. Which is bad enough – basically like seeing an alligator or crocodile. But you can simply walk away and let the thing slither off, theoretically.

And that's exactly what Eric Holland did – he headed inside to grab his camera, then thought twice about it. "I had a little reality check and I thought, 'Hmm, this is a bit stupid. This guy's a big fella. If he gets cornered, who knows what’ll happen.' So I just backed off," he told Sydney radio station 2UE.

But then a noise sent him back outside, where he discovered the lizard SCALING THE SIDE OF HIS HOUSE OMG OMG NO NOOOOOOOOOOO JUST ALL THE NOPE. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE.

There is no slithering off, in this case – it can CLIMB WALLS. Can you imagine casually looking out the window to see one of these things stuck to the glass peering back at you, or waking up to find a person-sized reptile chillin' over your bed?! Nightmare fuel. BYE.