But that doesn't mean the official confirmation that the IRL former model will be reprising her role as the IRL former doll in "Life-Size 2" doesn't make us want to break out into song — "Be A Star," of course...
Tyra told Variety that she would definitely be appearing as Eve, the woman who was once a doll, in "Life-Size 2," awesomely saying: “There is no one else that can play Eve but me, thank you very much! I’m just joking with you, but yes, I am going to be Eve.”
We're not joking, Tyra. You are Eve.
Though we're semi-devastated that, thus far, it seems like Lindsay Lohan will not reprise her role in the "Life-Size" sequel, we're still super psyched that this project is moving forward (and with Tyra as an executive producer!).
Here are seven reasons why "Life-Size 2" may be the most necessary sequel ever...
This premise is totally bonkers and totally great.
Need a refresher on the original film? Lindsay Lohan plays Casey, an 11-year-old girl who just lost her mother. She casts a spell to bring her back to life, but actually brings Eve the Doll to life instead. Heartwarming, hilarious, and a little bit creepy, this film just goes for it in the totally bonkers, yet totally feels-inducing department.
Our world still needs stories about the impossible expectations placed on women and girls.
Guess what? Fifteen years later, this message is still totally relevant. Girls still need to be told that they don't have to be perfect, do everything at once, or be everything to everyone — that they, in fact, cannot be. And that's OK.
The meta in this franchise is unreal.
So, in the original film, Tyra Banks — a supermodel who, in most ways, fits the ideal of what a woman should be — plays a character who is struggling with the limitations of being an ideal of what a woman should be.
Then, you've got baby LiLo, chatting about how human beings are flawed. That we are allowed to make mistakes. That this makes life interesting. ("Perfect is boring.") One can only hope the meta meter on "Life-Size 2" is as busy.
"Life Size 2" teaches girls they can be anything.
Eve has an aerospace degree. Casey plays football. Though this film could easily fall into strict gender binaries, it does not. Instead, it challenges girls to think beyond the limits of where they think girls have to exist within our culture.
"America's Next Top Model" is going off the air, and we need more Tyra in our lives.
Tyra is one of the hardest-working people in show business, so we'll no doubt be seeing her lovely face all around pop culture — but the end of "America's Next Top Model" is the end of an institution. And we're going to need the resurgence of another institution — aka "Life-Size" — to make us feel OK about all of this.
It may come out during the holiday 2016 season.
Tyra also told Variety that the film is tentatively scheduled for the 2016 holiday season, which: YES. The only thing better than getting a "Life-Size" sequel is getting a "Life-Size" sequel during the holiday season. Because everyone knows the holiday season is the best time of year to watch movies. (Sorrynotsorry, summer blockbusters!)
It was always kind of sad that Eve became a doll again.
Maybe I'm the only one who felt this way, but it always disappointed me that Eve chose to become a doll again at the end of the first film. Sure, it was her choice and she wanted to help young girls as a doll or whatever, but it seemed like she had much more power to do that as a, you know, human. (But, maybe not. Symbols have power, according to Batman.)
Presumably, "Life-Size 2" will give Eve another run at humanity, and I, for one, have a lot of questions. Has Eve been a doll this whole time? How have changes in the consumer market affected her sales? Did the lessons she learned in the first film allow her to make changes to her doll persona like she planned?
Guys, the more I think about it, this might be the most necessary sequel EVER.