…Because frankly I think I may go insane if I see someone tweet, “[Blank] can happen, but Warner Brothers says its too tricky to make a Wonder Woman movie??? #questionmarks” here are six suggestions to Warner Brothers, so they can make a Wonder Woman movie, and I don’t need to go totally crazy:
1. Forget About The Script: Do you guys REALLY care about the script? Of course not. You had eight Harry Potter movies in production at the same time. There’s three Hobbit movies, which is approximately 100 pages of book per 3+ hour movie. Do critics and discerning moviegoers care about a script? Absolutely, but what sells a movie isn’t what’s on the page. So stop saying, “You have to get it just right,” and just do it, because who cares? Turn those cameras on, and lets get shooting!
2. Cast Jennifer Lawrence: No, you don’t need a busty, seventeen foot tall, raven haired goddess to play Diana. You just cast frickin’ Ben Affleck as frickin’ Batman, so seriously, no, you don’t need to be physically accurate to the character. You need a bankable movie star. Jennifer Lawrence is a huge movie star people actually like, has shown she can do action in Hunger Games, and has nerd cred from X-Men. So back that cash truck up to her house already.
3. Get A Name Director: I don’t even care what director. Would people want someone nerd friendly? Sure. But really what you’re looking for at this point is someone who knows the right direction to point a camera, and more importantly, is known to the general public. Particularly if, for some reason the Jennifer Lawrence strategy falls through, getting Michael Bay, Christopher Nolan, heck, Quentin Tarantino would be awesome. Even Ron Howard would be fine. Just get a director. For goodness sake.
4. Make It A Crossover: See how interested in Superman/Batman people are? Make the next movie Batman/Wonder Woman, or Superman/Wonder Woman. If you’re really, seriously concerned about a solo female lead, or paying out too much money for a team movie, keep pairing people up. That’s really, really fine. You’ll upset people who want a solo Wonder Woman movie with cries of, “She finally gets a movie, and has to team up with a man?” But they’re also going to be upset no matter what you do, so suck it up, WB.
5. Write A Bunch Of YA Novels Or Whatever: Forgetting the fact that there are DECADES of comic books sitting around, how about you hire someone to write a Twilight-esque series of YA Novels about Wonder Woman? I bet you could get someone to crank out a trilogy in a weekend, and then you have your road-map for the movies, as well as a potential built in fanbase.
6. Have The Internet Make It: Just give up, and let the Internet write and film their own Wonder Woman movie, if they want it so badly. Hold a contest! It would be the world’s first fan created Hollywood blockbuster! You wouldn’t have to spend a dime, and it would make tons of money! WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!
…And whatever you do, make sure it’s really gritty and realistic and she kills a crapload of people.