By Katherine Erlikh
A firsthand account of the madness that is the GISHWHES scavenger hunt.
The Hunt Ends in 4 days, 11 hours, 33 minutes and 46 seconds:
I’m not sure if I want to write the next great literary classic or go camel-back riding today. This is difficult! I wonder if I am allergic to camels? Better stick to the literary classic.
The Hunt Ends in 4 days, 9 hours, 55 minutes and 33 seconds:
WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO LEND ME THEIR KIDS I AM A RESPONSIBLE ADULT. I SWEAR.
The Hunt Ends in 4 days, 8 hours, 49 minutes and 10 seconds:
My Reddit account’s post history is entirely filled up with posts seeking GISHWHES help. Nothing yet. Still need seven Germans, a nun, a priest, glue and a marching band.
Also, I am really in awe of how much stuff everyone’s gotten done. I’ve only finished one task so far… why did I pick all the stuff that takes a while to finish or involves extended Googling, Redditing and screaming into the void of the internet?
The Hunt Ends in 4 days, 8 hours, 27 minutes and 45 seconds:
SHREDDIT CAME THROUGH! I now have all the images I possibly could need of black metal guys with unorthodox musical implements.
The Hunt Ends in 3 days, 22 hours, 30 minutes and 18 seconds:
I woke up from an unplanned ten hour nap to find that Kyrsten has the flu, Jenny has low iron in her blood and that Cecelia and Stephanie smuggled champagne into the zoo on camels. Also, today we learned that astronauts have Twitter accounts. Meanwhile, Jared Padalecki has not been on Twitter since the hunt started.
All my email inboxes are overflowing, three hundred unread text messages on my phone, my family are trying to get in contact with me despite the fact that I have no phone signal… I think I’m going to go throw up now. #WelcomeToGISHWHES #ThereIsNoSurvival
Okay, okay, nope, nope. I’m not going to panic. I’m not going to panic. Not even if there is only three days left to write a book and make an egg and OH GOD HOW AM I GOING TO DO ALL THIS STUFF WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE NO ONE TALK TO ME I AM GOING TO GO BUY PLAY DOH AND PRINT OUT TWENTY PHOTOGRAPHS OF JENSEN ACKLES’S BUM NOW GOODBYE.
The Hunt Ends in 3 days, 20 hours, 39 minutes and 41 seconds:
WOOOOOAAAH THE EGG IS HALFWAY THERE
WOOOOOAAAAAAH PEOPLE GONNA STAAAAARE
In other news, Amanda is going dumpster diving. Literally. Kyrsten was going to feign going to the prom, but apparently it’s raining too much.
The Hunt Ends in 3 days, 20 hours, 15 minutes and 36 seconds:
I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I AM MAKING PINK SPARKLY SATAN WINGS OUT OF POSTER BOARD, COSMETIC GLITTER AND DORA THE EXPLORER NAPKINS. NO ONE LOOK AT ME.
The Hunt Ends in 3 days, 16 hours, 08 minutes and 30 seconds:
I forgot to get the photos of Jensen Ackles’s posterior. Curses. Anyone know an all-night print shop?