By Katherine Erlikh
A firsthand account of the madness that is the GISHWHES scavenger hunt.
The Hunt Ends in 6 days, 13 hours, 56 minutes and 20 seconds:
“I chose a whole grain bread because I felt the nuts cooked inside would provide the viewer with a strong symbolic innuendo for my sex organs,” said teammate Justin, who, when we last left off, was gluing toast on places where toast ought not go. Meanwhile the #Aclockalypse continues, although it has begun to wind down. I’m sure as time goes on there will be another wave of time measuring implements ready to be counted.
The Hunt Ends in 6 days, 12 hours, 04 minutes and 39 seconds:
“Nothing will ever make you feel better like seeing someone get squashed by a a fat Elvis when they have to pee.”
The Hunt Ends in 6 days, 2 hours, 13 minutes and 05 seconds:
The following conversation has been reported by teammate Kyrsten.
Friend: “what’s up?”
Kyrsten: “just woke up & about to go decorate a car with trash”
Friend: “is this the start of a ke$ha song?”
In other news, “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha is probably most appropriate soundtrack for this event.
The Hunt Ends in 6 days, 1 hour, 23 minutes and 38 seconds:
Reddit seems to think I’m kidding when I tell them that YES, I do need a nun, a marching band, a gallon of Elmer’s liquid glue and a black metal band. Perhaps I should try Craigslist.
The Hunt Ends in 5 days, 23 hours, 04 minutes and 52 seconds:
“Hang on, lemme call the local court, I might be able to change my name to Gleif,” said unfortunate team member Leif. I’m not going to explain what’s happening, because even I am not sure at this point. I’m just going to leave this here, and walk away… and go email people I’ve never met, asking if I can borrow their children. This can’t possibly end badly.
The Hunt Ends in 5 days, 21 hours, 20 minutes and 19 seconds:
A giant lizard just mauled Amber. She’s going to go panhandle now. #YOLO. In other news, “Misha’s Crown Jewels: God save the Queen” is an actual thing that’s going to happen now.
The Hunt Ends in 5 days, 19 hours, 30 minutes and 17 seconds:
The New Yorkers on the team are planning how to build a nest in Union Square. We need this thing because of reasons. Strangers have yet to tell me if they’re willing to lend me their children. Black metal band, Germans, nuns, marching band and glue still not found. The big question is, does a chicken count as a rooster?
The Hunt Ends in 5 days, 16 hours, 39 minutes and 10 seconds:
“Are you not wearing pants?” Stephanie asked of Alexa. There, we’ve forgotten our pants AND blogged about it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go lay an egg. And can you say Satan wings? I am going to need those too…