A Rebuttal To The Craigslist 'Walking Dead' Rescue Plan


By Jorge Solis

Over on Craigslist, a zombie survivalist believes he has found the perfect plan to save Rick and his friends from "The Walking Dead." In order to increase their chances at survival, what if Rick and the others traveled towards the ocean? If you think that is a great idea, let's go over some of the major points that disproves this theory.

1) How Can A One Legged Man Swim?

What if Rick anchored a boat about half a mile from shore? Our zombie survivalist thinks this would give the entire group a chance to sleep. They can finally doze off and get some rest without fear of an incoming attack. That sounds like a good plan if you're not thinking about the weather. What if there is a storm and the waves come crashing down? Something is going to rock that boat and you're going to have people falling overboard. Imagine if one of them is Hershel, who only has one leg? How is he going to make it back to shore, which is so far away, with only one leg?

2) All-You-Can-Eat-Lobster Fest?

Let's suppose Rick and his crew do try to make a living out in the ocean. Our zombie survivalist considers this as an easy access to an unlimited food source. Without ever going hungry, everyone can eat lobster, shrimp, and fish. I don't know about you, but I'm a carnivore. I would go insane if all I had to eat was fish.

Another thing that worries me is that the water might be contaminated. Who says the walkers haven't tried touching the water? The walkers are made up of rotten flesh and covered in disease. With just one touch, your entire water supply is wiped out. You can't drink the water anymore because it's been poisoned. You really want to cut open that infected fish and eat it? Take a bite, I dare you.

3) Sharks Vs. Zombies

Have you ever seen the horror movie, "Zombi 2?" If you haven't, there is a Windows 7 commercial that presents a memorable scene from Lucio Fulci's classic zombie movie. A zombie sinks into the ocean floor and continues walking across. Because zombies don't need air, they can survive underwater. All of sudden, a shark passes by and starts munching on the zombie. After losing a limb, the zombie fights back in anger. In a battle to the death, the shark and zombie are tearing each other apart. This is a well-choreographed fight sequence between a professional trainer and a real tiger shark. I definitely don't want to go into the water if biters and sharks are going to duke it out.

In order to avoid roadblocks and the abandoned cars, it makes sense to grab a raft and head out into the ocean. Even though Rick has lost his mind, he knows the ocean still isn't the safest place to hide during the zombie apocalypse. If Rick can just stay focused, he might be able to save everyone from The Governor on Sunday's "The Walking Dead."

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