TV

The Map Of Westeros Shows The Way To New “Game of Thrones” Merch

We’re guessing HBO is killing a little bit of time until next week’s Blackwater blow-out – and if there isn’t an “I Survived The Battle of Blackwater,” or something on a chain (you book readers no what I’m talking about), we’re be sorely disappointed. But, in the meantime, the Map of Westeros takes center stage in this week’s featured items from the HBO Store. We’re sorely tempted to make some Dora The Explorer jokes, but the Venn diagram for Game of Thrones fans and Dora watchers probably just has us in the middle of two circles, and that’s it:

First up is a shirt with a slightly more subtle map design, and the perfect way to work the phrase, “Hey baby, wanna check out my spicy pepper down near Dorne?” into conversation. Note: Never work that phrase into conversation, ever.

Then there’s the perennial favorite iPhone cover, though in all seriousness, this is probably the best possible size for a map of Westeros. It’s easier than a wall poster to refer to, and handier than carrying around one of George R.R. Martin’s massive novels. This way, if someone asks you whether King’s Landing is north of Dragonstone, you can casually glance down at your iPhone, and after several minutes of squinting, confidently say, “No.”

You may not know art, but you know you want a canvas rendering of the map of Westeros. Also: you definitely do not know art.

Next week, we’ll see you back here for a small piece of Tyrion’s nose.

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