Six Superheroes We Won't Be Passing A Valentine To This Year

While superheroes might know what it takes to put on tights and persevere against the greatest threats the universe has ever seen, they don't always know what it takes to have a lasting relationship. Even the ones who do might not be classified as healthy. We picked six heroes from comics who might seem exciting to date, but we're here to warn you: it won't end well.

Mr. Fantastic

Sure Mr. Fantastic and The Invisible Woman nee Girl have been an item for decades now, but that doesn't mean things are going well in this marriage. After being talked down to in the early issues of Fantastic Four, Sue had to be possessed by the evil entity of Malice before most took her seriously. Even after baring a son and daughter for her husband, Sue still loses out to science when it comes to her big-brained husband. Heck, these two couldn't even agree to be on the same side of the silly Civil War a few years back. Let's hope Reed can be there for Sue as she deals with her brother Johnny's death and if not, she should remember that Namor is still waiting in the wings to whisk her away to his underwater bungalow.


Yes he's rich. And yes he's got a cool sternness that some might find appealing, but Batman and his alter ego Bruce Wayne does not have an excellent track record in the race of love. Not only did he father a child out of wedlock with a terrorist, but his girlfriends have a tendency to wind up dead, heartbroken or both. Plus, his last main squeeze Jezebel Jet betrayed him pretty badly, so he's probably on the rebound right now—if not from that, definitely from the fact that he just got done bouncing through time and has now thrown himself into his work. When it comes to love, the Caped Crusader seems to have it only for his night job.


Unlike Batman, She-Hulk likes to spread the love around. She's been with everyone from Juggernaut to Hercules. Wyatt Wingfoot, Starfox, Man-Wolf, Iron Man and S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Clay Quartermain have all become notches on her surely-shattered bedpost (okay, it was an alternate universe version of her with Juggy, but it's still funny). But, hey, we're not judging her for having fun with various suitors, we'd be most concerned with her accidentally snapping a potential sweetie in half. Only the strong and adventurous need apply.

Red Arrow

Even had he not recently lost his daughter, gone on a drug binge and beaten a man to near-death with a cat, Roy Harper—also known as Speedy and Arsenal at various times in his long superhero career—might not have been the best choice of mate. Sure he had cleaned up after his much-publicized hroine addiction, but he also bedded international terrorist Cheshire who bore his daughter, the one who didn't make it through Justice League: Cry For Justice. His past flings include Donna Troy, Grace, Hawkgirl, and Huntress all who have gone on to be with other heroes. So, if you're looking to get into the club of hero-daters, he might be a good first step, just wait till he stops hitting people with cats for a while.


Some heroes get around while others seem to love commitment. Daredevil's the latter but commitment doesn't seem to love him back. His girl Elektra turned out to be a vigilante, murder victim, zombie and shape shifting Skrull at various times in her “life.” He dated super spy and Avenger Black Widow for a time, but that ended with her leaving him. There's also Karen Page who started out as Matt Murdock's secretary and eventually the pair started dating. Later she got addicted to heroine, made porn and wound up selling Daredevil's secret identity to a drug dealer. Being a good dude, Daredevil forgave her, but that didn't stop her troubles as Mysterio told her she had AIDS and Bullseye killed her Elektra style. That would be enough to scare off most women, but then he married a blind woman named Milla who was driven mad by Mr. Fear and is now under the watchful eye of her parents. Seriously, folks, stay the hell away from Daredevil. Heck, he just got done being possessed by a devil and almost killing his friends. He is not a safe bet.

Green Lantern Kyle Rayner

Brutally beaten and stuffed in a refrigerator. Murdered by an alien robot and resurrected. Died saving the universe and literally gave her power to him. That's how Kyle Rayner's three main squeezes have died—Alex Dewitt, Donna Troy and Jade respectively. So not only is he dangerous—his mom was also murdered by a sentient virus member of the Sinestro Corps—but he's also got himself a girlfriend at the moment in fellow Green Lantern Soranik Natu. We recommend not trying to get between two people wielding the most powerful weapons in the universe. That goes for the recently resurrected Jade as well.

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