This weekend brings Halloween in full force... on a Sunday. Sucks, right? Practically everybody is gonna be celebrating on Saturday night instead, and getting embarrassingly drunk while wearing a Batman costume, just isn't gonna have the same air of importance. However, scary s@#t is fun all year round, and we here at MTV Geek! are happy to present the Top Ten Scariest Action Figures of All Time!
Most of the toys featured have been long sold out (or burned by angry mobs), and these plastic effigies may induce vomiting, spark hallucinations, and/or cause involuntary urination; so, if you can find them, it'll be like the tail-end of a Halloween party all year round! Without further ado, lets bring on the freaks!
As the first vampire to ever slink his way across the silver screen, Nosferatu has cemented his place in history as a creepy S.O.B. This figure was released by Aztech/Mezco toyz in their Silent Screamers line of figures. With his lanky proportions and pointed features, Count Orlok looks menacing as he strides across his base of dilapidated brick and rats. Just look at those fangs! There's no hiding teeth like that, so you just gotta embrace your darkside and be done with it. Stick Nosferatu in some daylight and his skin even changes color as if hes burning to a crisp. Its fun for the whole family!
This baby-snatcher comes courtesy of the Blackest Night series of figures from DC Direct. What's that? How's a figure from a superhero comic make it into the top ten? Just look at this chick! She has an F'n bone-cage protruding from her back so she can keep stolen infants in there! Not only that, but the figure comes with two babies as her accessories! The Sinestro Corps members use fear as their power source, which means Kryb must be one tough lady cause there are very few things more fear-inducing than the thought of being forced to suckle from her blue, saggy, teats. Ugh!
A human turning into a wolf is messy business. If you need proof, just take a gander at the above pic. Notice the snarling wolf head is tearing up through the open human mouth as the skin is shed away? Is that grotesque enough for ya? This isn't some pretty boy morphing into a giant puppy to fight sparkly vamps; THIS is a guy being involuntarily mutated into a bloodthirsty beast! The Werewolf in question was released as part of the McFarlane Monsters series from McFarlane Toys and is unmatched by any other lycanthrope figure to date. This is the first, but certainly not the last, entry for McFarlane Toys on our list.
Attack of the Living Dead is a terrifying masterpiece from Mezco Toyz. Hellen here claws her way onto the list for a number of reasons, the most glaring being that shes a female zombie in the process of devouring a human corpse. Duh. Her rooted hair, corpse-like paint apps, and horrific expression are just icing on the cake. Its rare to see zombies this scary on the big screen, and Hellen is small enough to fit in your pocket, and then bite her way through to your junk. Let that seep in for a minute, and you will truly know fear.
6. Ladysmith Splicer
Video games have been a source for sweet, sweet, horror since the beginning and Bioshock has picked up that torch and ran with it through 2 games (soon to be 3). Neca Toys has been a boon to fans by releasing a series of Bioshock figures, and that's where this beauty comes from. Nevermind the stretched skin along the face, or the bulbous tumors protruding from her side; hell, don't even worry about the misshapen leg. No, what makes this figure truly terrifying is the dress. You know the one. Its that June Cleaver-this-could-be-your-grandmother-frock that she's sporting. Oh, and the weapon. Definitely the weapon too.
The Attack of the Living Dead figures from Mezco Toyz rear their undead heads once again on our list. This time its in the stomach-churning/bursting form of Earl. Sure, an obese walking corpse is a thing of nightmares, but the fact that he has gooey entrails (that can be forcefully ripped from his stomach cavity) plant him firmly in the #5 spot on the list. Kudos to you Mezco for taking a seemingly average zombie sculpt and kicking it up a notch!
4. Humpty Dumpty
We all grew up hearing the nursery rhyme of Humpty Dumpty. Well, he of "had a great fall" fame has been immortalized in plastic thanks to the Twisted Fairy Tales series by McFarlane Toys. There's nothing quite like a bloated, half-corpse with its insides burst open as leaches and maggots pour out. Take a look at his smug facial expression too, even after being burst like an over-ripe melon. There's no denying the sculpting expertise involved in capturing such a fetid being. This is what happens when you use your talents for evil, people!
3. Michael Myers
Clowns are scary. As are evil children. An action figure of an evil kid dressed as a clown could very well be the epitome of horror! The Evolution of Evil 2 pack from Neca Toys delivers the goods, and even throws in an adult-version of "The Shape" just for s@#ts and giggles. Michael Myers is represented in both versions, and they each come with their own knife... cause no one ever taught lil' Mikey how to share. The figures get this high on the list because of the incredibly realistic sculpting. Sure, a murdering child Michael Meyers is creepy, but add in the fact that he is picture-perfect, and it skyrockets the goose bump factor!
Anything created by Clive Barker should make this list by default. However, the figure of Mongroid from Clive Barker's Tortured Souls II by McFarlane Toys needs no big-name assistance. The sprawled form of a man being dragged around by the ravenous mouth that has been formed from his lower abdomen is more than enough to get noticed. The look of agony on his face is gut-wrenching(munching?). Can you imagine this thing trotting after you in the dark of night?! Geez, this guy makes almost everything else on this list look like a joke. Almost.
Appropriately, Satan takes the top spot. The Exorcist has been on multiple lists as the scariest film ever made. Thanks to this Deluxe Regan figure from The Exorcist; Neca Toys has brought that horror home. Not only is the sculpt of Linda Blair spot on, but Neca has introduced electronic-devil-action into this thing. Regan's head spins 360 degrees as she groans and howls her way into your hearts... and nightmares. The sculpt, paint, and action features all add up to the scariest action figure ever made. EVER! If this thing puked pea soup all over the room, we'd never be able to sleep again!