Two years ago, the world met Prince Hans Westergård of the Southern Isles in the Disney movie "Frozen." He was kind, quick-witted and a total dreamboat. Plus, he practically wrote the book on "How to Be Charming." Of course, he also wrote the book on "How to Be A Scumbag in Disguise."
Being the 13th child in his family, it was safe to assume Hans would never climb to the top of his family's monarchy. What's a desperate prince to do? Marry into another royal family, of course — one that will substantially cut his throne-waiting time. When Hans told his soon-to-be-wife, "Oh, Anna. If only there was someone out there who loved you," our collective hearts burst into a million tiny pieces of sadness.
Hans' ultimate fate was left somewhat open-ended when the movie finished. He was arrested and sent back to his homeland, where he was going to face some unknown punishment from his older brothers. Well, now we know what Hans is up to today: trying to be a king.
Hans first tried wooing Merida from "Brave."
He didn't want to take no for an answer, but after she shot at him with her bow and arrows, he got the hell away from her.
Next, he tried his luck with Cinderella.
She simply pointed to her glass slipper and told Hans, "I'm clearly taken by my own Prince Charming," and then ran away, because that's just what she does.
Third on his list was Belle.
She read Hans an excerpt from "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus," and then sent the Beast after him.
Then, he gave Rapunzel a shot.
She and Eugene "Flynn" Rider had hung out in Arendelle for Elsa's coronation back in the day, and they both probably smacked Hans with a frying pan for all the crap he pulled.
Later, Hans hit up Princess Aurora.
Sleeping Beauty listened with intensity to Hans' long proposal, but then fell asleep in the middle of it because it was super boring.
And then he popped the question to Ariel.
The Little Mermaid sang a note of surprise so shrilly, Hans' eardrums burst. He thought, "Ugh. Eric can have that chick," and bounced.
But finally, Hans returned to the scene of the crime.
Did Anna say yes again? Nope. Instead, she laughed in his face and went outside to build a snowman.
Sorry, Hans. Looks like you should just kiss that kingdom dream goodbye.