We don’t know who Peter Dinklage is playing in “X-Men: Days of Future Past” just yet. So let’s just assume he’s playing Tyrion Lannister, his brilliant award-winning character from “Game of Thrones.” After all, “Days of Future Past” is already dealing with time-travel, juggling two separate eras of “X-Men” casts at once — would bringing Westeros’ smallest giant into the realm of mutants and Sentinels really make things too weird?
(Yes, it would. Just roll with us.)
In fact, smart money suggests that Tyrion would actually handle himself quite well if he was put up against the X-universe. Sure, height isn’t on his side, and he has no real powers to speak of beyond his razor-sharp tongue — but who needs Valyrian steel to compete with adamantium when wits are on your side?
So, let’s put Tyrion to the test. We’ve turned to Sean T. Collins, comic book author and critic and blogger of all things “Game of Thrones” and “A Song of Ice and Fire” at All Leather Must Be Boiled, for his insight into how The Imp would fare against mutantkind.
Take it away, Sean!
Tyrion Vs. Wolverine
“Assuming Tyrion caught Wolverine in a ’code of the samurai’ mood rather than a berserker rage, he could probably prevail on Logan’s sense of honor and insist on a trial by combat, bringing in his rough-and-tumble sellsword Bronn to be his champion. In the right setting and with a little luck, Bronn could maneuver Wolverine out the ’Moon Door’ like he did with that knight back in Season One — a few thousand feet later and you’ve got a red puddle with an adamantium skeleton in the middle.” — Sean T. Collins
Tyrion Vs. Magneto
“Fortunately for Lord Tyrion, Lannister gold is unaffected by magnetic fields. While Magneto’s busy tossing Lannister knights around like red-cloaked confetti, tiny Tyrion could slip in with some custom-made solid-gold armor, hamstring him with a dragonglass dagger from the Red Keep’s armory, and beat him to death with his own helmet in the mighty Tyrion tradition. Of course, we’re ignoring the way Marvel has slowly ratcheted up Magneto’s magnet powers to levels of near-godlike omnipotence; about the only thing he can’t do with them at this point is, like, turn into a werewolf, so in ’reality’ he’d probably just rip the iron content out of Tyrion’s blood or whatever.” — STC
Tyrion Vs. Xavier
“I don’t like Tyrion’s odds here. His main weapon is his mind, which a telepath could pick clean. Tyrion’s best bet is to use his soft spot for cripples, bastards, and broken things to win Chuck over, perhaps by designing him a custom saddle so he can ride around the Xavier Academy grounds on horseback and pretend to be a knight just like he always dreamed of.” — STC
Tyrion Vs. The Sentinels
“Would wildfire burn Sentinel steel? There’s only one way to find out.” — STC
Tyrion Vs. The Ridiculously Convoluted X-Movie Continuity
“C’mon. No one’s that smart.” — STC
Thanks for playing along, Sean! You all can read more of Sean’s thoughts on Tyrion and the rest of the “Game of Thrones” and “ASOIAF” universe at BoiledLeather.com.