Happy birthday, Hawkeye! Jeremy Renner, who starred in “Marvel’s The Avengers” as Earth’s mightiest sharpshooter, turns 42 today. As one of the stars of last year’s superhero epic, Renner is one of the many Hollywood heroes we’re thankful for on a weekly basis.
That said, Hawkeye is still at a bit of a disadvantage when stacked up against his fellow Avengers. After all, a bow and arrow look kind of puny when positioned next to thunder gods and gamma giants. To that end, we thought we’d cook up a few ideas to bolster Hawkeye’s arsenal, just in time for Renner’s birthday.
Asgardian Arrows: Now that the Avengers are pals with Thor, what are the odds they can sneak a peek at the Thunder God’s Asgardian armory? Any kind of mystical arrow — be it imbued with Thor’s thunderous touch or Loki’s mischievous ways — would be a huge boon to Hawkeye’s arsenal.
Hulkbuster Arrows: With Bruce Banner on their side, the Avengers don’t only have Earth’s mightiest giant at their disposal, but one of its mightiest minds, too. Banner needs to team up with the rest of the Avengers to devise weaponry capable of calming or subduing the Hulk — starting with Hulkbuster arrows for Hawkeye’s bow.
Endlessly Regenerating Arrows: Of all the trick arrows Hawkeye needs, this is the one. It doesn’t matter how many hook-shots or lightning-bolt-arrows you’ve got; if you run out of arrows completely, you have nothing. Get Bruce or Tony or some other S.H.I.E.L.D. scientist to design a quiver with constantly regenerating arrows, so Clint never has to worry about running out.
A Chitauri Firearm: Or any other kind of automatic firearm, really. Bows and arrows are so 12th century.
A Week Off: Seriously! Time off does a body and mind good, and after the hell Hawkeye went through in “Avengers,” he could use a vacation. Send Clint off to some tropical paradise, possibly with Natasha in tow, and he’ll come back hitting the bull’s-eye every single time.
What would you get Hawkeye for his birthday? Wish Renner a happy one in the comments below or on Twitter!