‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Should Totally Be A Musical

Dear Mr. Nolan,

Sorry to interrupt. I suspect you’re cowl-deep in post-production work on the highly anticipated “Dark Knight Rises,” which makes this 11th-hour query ill-timed at best. But, I just have to ask: Have you ever considered re-conceiving your grand Bat finale as a movie musical?

Now hear me out. For one, people really like singing superheroes. Secondly, I suspect the Bat Cave has amazing acoustics. And last, but perhaps most importantly, you’ve assembled one of the most musically inclined casts never to sing “Summer Nights” or “Do-Re-Mi.”

To wit, before he was a billionaire tycoon, Bruce Wayne himself, Christian Bale, was just a hard-working paper hawker in the Disney musical “Newsies.” Thought he’s a bit embarrassed by the role nowadays, what a nice homage it would be to have Bruce’s opening number be a review of the day’s doings in the Gotham Gazette. Extry! Extry!

Then there’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the consummate renaissance man, who charms the pants off women on a near-daily basis by crooning Beatles tunes and holiday ditties. Though we’re not entirely sure who his character John Blake really is, we do know he’s some sort of law enforcement officer. Picture “Cop Rock” with an “Inception” twist. IS IT ALL JUST A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM?

Not to be outdone by the gents is starlet Anne Hathaway, who never met a solo she didn’t like. She’s shown off her pretty pipes on several Academy Awards telecasts, and I think we can all agree that her Catwoman garb is uniquely suited for kick-butt krunking (or blase pada berets if you’re going more “Cabaret” and less “Step Up”). Plus, you’d now have a legitimate reason to include “What’s New Pussycat?” in the score without it seeming weird. Because it totally wouldn’t seem weird.

While we’re at it, don’t forget that Marion Cotillard (a.k.a. Miranda Tate) had her coming out party this side of the Atlantic thanks to an Oscar-winning turn as singer Edith Piaf in the 2007 drama “La vie en rose.” Sure, she admitted to doing very little of her own vocal stylings, but that means she knows how to lip synch even better than Ashlee Simpson.

And lest you think I’ve overlooked the rest of the supporting cast, “A Muppet Christmas Carol” proved to me that Michael Caine can manage at least a few stanzas. True to the spirit of Bane, Tom Hardy can just mumble all of his harmonies. And Morgan Freeman will be the narrator. Obviously.

So, Mr. Nolan, I hope you take my suggestion seriously. Because this thing could be big. And I’ll only ask for 10 percent.

Amy Wilkinson
Editor of MTV’s Hollywood Crush

Do I have a million-dollar idea on my hands or what?