GUEST BLOG: ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ Writer Jane Espenson Gets In Character For ‘Harmony Bites’

EDITOR’S NOTE: Former “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” TV series writer (and current “Battlestar Galactica” scribe) Jane Espenson kicks off a new storyline this week in the “Season Eight” comic book series that promises big changes in the series’ status quo. As we mentioned in our exclusive preview of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” #21, trouble begins when vampire Harmony Kendall finds fame on a new, fictional MTV series titled “Harmony Bites.” Espenson has provided Splash Page readers with the following Guest Blog, written from the point-of-view of the story’s blonde bloodsucker, explaining the premise of “Harmony Bites.”


A meditation by Harmony Kendall

There are some things that absolutely everyone loves. The color pink. Little dogs. Reality television. Fizzy rum-based drinks. Giving in to dark impulses. Want to cover all the bases? Then fix yourself a drink, grab your pink dog and watch “Harmony Bites!” this week, premiering on MTV! It’s crazy, real-life fun with the sexy twist of watching people lose their souls. For reals!

At first I wasn’t sure if I liked the idea of all of those cameras watching my every move. But after I took the idea to MTV and they bought it, I decided to make my peace with it — and boy, am I glad I did. I think introspection is about the healthiest thing that a person can do for herself, and nothing makes you look at yourself more closely than grooming a public persona that you can carry into your most private moments. In that way, this show is a gift that I give to myself. And now I’m ready for you to give it to yourself!

There’s a certain sameness to most reality shows. That really helped me figure out how to do mine.

The show, “Harmony Bites,” starts with me. I’m the Earth and all the other people in the show orbit around me. For example, the Sun in the show is my friend and sidekick Clem. He’s the Nicole to my Paris: funny, warm, supportive and covered with acres of hilarious extra skin. The other planets in my orbit are my beloved dogs. You’ll meet Tocks, Pee-nut, Twitch, Puddles, Yip, Smudge, and Trembles. And you’ll love them like I do! There are other friends and family members too, cleverly assembled by the amazing casting people at MTV for maximum fun and conflict!

You might think that my life is all glamour, and parties, and red carpets — but there’s a lot more and it’s not all easy. My Vampire status makes me special, but it also prevents me from tanning and from appearing on many late-night talk shows that actually film, shockingly, in the mid-afternoon. It can also be a real stumper when it comes to relationships — what happens when I date the living? You’ll have to tune in to “Harmony Bites” to find out!

No one is born a Vampire. It’s something that you achieve. That means something, and I don’t take it lightly. That’s partly why I wanted to do “Harmony Bites.” I wanted to provide an example to young people, especially those who face obstacles, to show them that they can achieve anything. And, who knows? Maybe I’ll be the one to help them do it!

Tune in this week to “Harmony Bites,” premiering exclusively on MTV. No one knows for sure what that “M” stands for, but, at least for this week…

It’s ME!

“Harmonic Divergence” kicks off in issue #21 of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight,” on shelves today (January 7). You can also follow Harmony’s story on the back pages of “Kull” #3, “Solomon Kane” #4, “BPRD: Black Goddess” #1 and “The Cleaners” #2.