Kevin Smith On His Version Of An 'Aquaman' Movie: 'He'd Fart A Lot'

Kevin SmithTaking Kevin Smith’s name in vain is a running joke on “Entourage” – so much so that Smith likes to joke, “Ari Gold? He’ll never be my agent. And I’m never going to work with Vinnie Chase.”

At the New York premiere of “Zack and Miri Make A Porno” -- part of the kickoff for the CMJ Music Marathon & Film Festival -- Smith reminisced during a Q&A session about how a fictional story on “Entourage” bled into his real life, and all because they cited him as the writer for a movie on the show.

In season three, Vincent Chase was about to do “Aquaman 2,” but balks because instead of James Cameron directing, Michael Bay is stepping in. And instead of Andrew Kevin Walker ("Se7en") writing, it’s Kevin Smith. “They’re rushing it into production, and so they’re having a scene where they’re talking about who’s directing, who’s writing it, and my name comes up,” Smith said. “And they’re like, ‘F--k!’” (Actually, it was more like a collective groan, with Vincent saying, ‘F--k you, Ari! I want off this movie!”).

“That stung a little bit,” Smith admitted. “But the weirdest thing was that afterwards, for the next two months, people would come up and congratulate me. ‘I hear you’re doing “Aquaman 2”!’ And I was like, ‘Motherf---er, did you ever see ‘Aquaman 1’?!”

So we had to ask, if the fictional movie weren’t so fictional, if he actually got to write “Aquaman” – 1, 2 or whatever – what would his take be?

“What would my Aquaman look like? He would fart under the ocean a lot, I tell you that much,” Smith said. “He would leave a trail of bubbles and s--t. He would be so gassy, and people would be like, ‘That’s because he eats dolphins.’”

Something tells us that’s not what DC and Warner Bros. are looking for. Considering the "Entourage" version went on to become the highest-grossing movie of all time (at least in that universe), there's a lot to live up to. “Damn you, ‘Entourage,’” Smith laughed. “You win this round.”

Who would you want to see writing and directing and starrring in a real "Aquaman"?