I realize this may come as a shock to you, but Noel Gallagher does not care about maintaining a robust online presence.
In fact, after interviewing him on Thursday, I'm reasonably sure he is unaware he even has a Facebook page, official website or Twitter account. Why? Well, for starters, because he is Noel Gallagher. But also because he thinks they're a complete waste of time.
How do I know this? Well, he told me, in a delightfully unhinged rant that began when I asked him if releasing his first post-Oasis solo album (the genuinely pretty great Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds) meant that he'd also have to step up his social-media game, since the prevailing logic these days seems to equate online connectivity with, well, sales. Here's his answer. And yes, it was everything I'd hoped it would be ... and then some.
"No, life's to short to tweet. I don't understand what's interesting about rock stars and their tweets and what color socks they wear. Who gives a sh--? People used to be interested in rock stars because there was a sense of mystery to them; you didn't know what David Bowie was doing, you didn't know what makeup he was wearing, you didn't even know if he was going to be Ziggy Stardust one year or the Thin White Duke the next. You cannot convince me that it is in any way magical for me to be tweeting 'On the way to the studio. Wearing green socks. It's going to be a great day. Should I have coffee or tea? Hmmm, food for thought.' Who gives a sh--? Seriously, who cares? Sad people, they care."
Of course, if you think he stopped there, well, then you probably don't know Noel Gallagher. After the jump, watch as he not only rips Facebook, but manages to put a member of his inner circle on notice, too. It's the kind of multitasking that they make Apps for, really.