Top 10 Sexy Halloween Costumes That Shouldn't Exist

By Kara Klenk

Halloween is a few days away, so stragglers will be picking apart the remains of costume shops or paying extra for shipping all week. Some people opt for funny (Angry Jet Blue Flight Attendant), political (Kim Jung Il), or cultural memes (keyboard cat). But sadly, a majority of the adult female population tries to go sexy. While it’s pretty easy to make a Snooki or Tinkerbell costume revealing, costume companies also push some “sexy” options that should be anything but.

10. Sexy Ninja Turtle Michelangelo:

There must be a better way to pay homage to your late '80s/early '90s upbringing besides trying to make an anthropomorphic turtle look hot. Plus, there is NO way a girl stands would stand a chance against Shredder in this kind of get up.

9. Bollywood Ho:

Seriously? Not even “Bollywood Star” or “Bollywood Hottie”? You’re just going with “Bollywood Ho”? You know, to be an actual “ho” in Bollywood all you have to do is publicly embrace Richard Gere; you can actually be wearing pants.

8. Big Bad Sexy Wolf/Sexy "Twilight" Wolf:

Now you can channel your inner Taylor Lautner! Not a fan of the "Twilight" movies? Don’t sweat it! You can just be a regular sexy wolf! Rawr. Er … Woof . Whatever … wolf noise.

7. Sexy Nurse:

Was there a point in time where nurses didn’t wear baggy pastel scrubs and white Crocs and actually dressed in skin-tight-vinyl? Don’t think so. Ironically, this costume brings the word “unsanitary” to mind.

6. Sexy Bee:

This is what a bee looks like. How did we end up sexualizing this insect? Where is the sexy grasshopper? The hot cricket? The flirty mosquito?

5. Sexy Girl Scout:

It’s been a while since my days as a Brownie, but I don’t recall the Girl Scout Motto starting, “On my honor, I will try, to look as smoking hot as possible, and keep my abs tanned and ripped.”

Read on for the rest…

4. Sexy Man Pirate:

It’s no easy task finding a “sexy” Halloween costume for a guy. The trick is, they’re just called Halloween costumes on most websites. But here’s one that’s giving it a shot. A misplaced, spandex-clad shot.

3. Sexy Military Babe:

Remember as you party Halloween night away that men and women in the armed forces risk their lives daily to protect your right to wear a plastic bullet sash across your naked chest. Keep it classy, America!

2. Naughty Nemo:

Not even adorable cartoon fish are safe from the Halloween sex machine! Want to dress up with a friend? Nemo always needs her forgetful pimp, Dory!

1. Sexy Chucky

Finally! You’ve got the chance to wake up next to the possessed, murderous doll that haunted your childhood dreams! Sssssexy!