James Franco Becomes A Musician, Inspires Us To Plan His Career

James Franco is already the hyphenate’s hyphenate, but now, the acting-directing-art-making-multiple-university-attending-cat-bench-pressing-frequently-squinting star is adding another prefix to his eternally lengthening list of gigs: musician.

Well, sort of. Because while Franco has joined forces with “video/performance artist” Kalup Linzy to create the aptly-named duo Kalup & Franco (they’ll release their debut EP, Turn It Up on July 12, through DJ /rupture’s Dutty Artz label), based on what we’ve seen so far — namely, a live performance of “Proud Mary” — Franco doesn’t actually seem to be doing much in the way of actual musicianship. Instead, he just sort of stands there in a tuxedo, looking handsome, while someone else vamps and camps (which, if you think about it, is basically all he did when he hosted the Oscars, too.)

In short, Kalup & Franco appear to be more of a one-man show — albeit a man dressed in woman’s clothing — than a full-fledged musical duo … which doesn’t exactly leave us feeling optimistic about their future: Eventually, Linzy’s gonna get tired of carrying the load. But since Franco’s officially been bitten by the bug, here are some other musical projects he can tackle once his time in K&F comes to a close. And, much like his current gig in the group, they don’t entail much more than simply standing around.

» Guy who presses ’play’ at the beginning of Britney Spears’ live shows.
» Official chairperson, Beastie Boys’ Hot Sauce Committee.
» Dude in Fleet Foxes without a beard.
» Person who convinces moms to buy Adele’s 21.
» Justin Bieber’s Razor Scooter wrangler.
» Chris Brown’s questionable decision-maker.
» Flying-V guitar tech for Mumford & Sons.
» Director of earnestness, Coldplay Inc.
» Katy Perry’s zeitgeist-pleasing single picker.
» Christina Aguilera.