Rihanna's Tour Rider: Lots Of Animal Prints, Absolutely No Sequins

Forget the no brown M&M's policy, the buckets of condoms and fried chicken, Heliotrope-scented candles, odorless environments, wig rooms, organic cheeses and requests for heavy-duty fans that allow for Bon Jovi video re-enactments; most tour riders just ask for booze, clean socks and a meat plate.

But sometimes a tour rider will come along with just enough wacky requests that the good folks at The Smoking Gun just have to call it out.

Case in point: the backstage requests by Rihanna for her upcoming “Last Girl on Earth” tour, which kicks off next month in Auburn, Washington. Sure, there’s the usual stuff: a direct-dial phone, no harsh fluorescent lighting, a DSL line, heaters, humidifiers and a full-length mirror, which, oddly has to be "thin" (because who wants to look at yourself in a "fat" mirror?)

But then, there are the super-specific requirements that seem … well, you decide. We've highlighted some of the best with all CAPS, parentheses and other grammatical ephemera courtesy of Camp Rihanna. Oh, and for the record, lord help you if you ever give her anything sequined.

1 – 6ft comfortable couch – White, Cloth, Plush (No leather) (wide enough for her to stretch out on and sometimes take a nap)

6-8 Throw Pillows for Couches – Animal Print (Cheetah, Leopard)(NO sequins)

1 Large throw rug – plush and animal print (Cheetah, Leopard) … must be CLEAN, as she will walk on it barefoot.

Pipe and Drape the room in Dark Blue or Black Drapes with Icy Blue Chiffon draped nicely on top/over.

4 Small, clear, square vases with White Tulips, if in season – No Foliage (2nd choice: White Casablanca Lilies no foliage, 3rd choice: White Freesia no foliage)

Also included is a request for six Archipelago Black Forest Candles ($37.50 a piece), with the warning, “if you can’t get these, please let me know ASAP as we have a 2nd choice of candle for Ri.”

And, most importantly, and you can tell because it is in bold, underlined and all caps: “Bathroom must be spotless. Please deep clean toilet and shower.”

Now, we’ve been in our share of backstage areas and seen varying levels of cleanliness, but the fact that Rihanna has to remind venues to provide one of the planet’s biggest pop stars with a clean shower and toilet almost makes the other stuff seem like so many packs of Gold Toe sweatsocks.