Why Alabama Will Beat Texas Tonight (And It's Not Why You Think)

This evening, the college football season will come to a close at the conclusion of the BCS National Championship Game, the contest that will decide who is the best team among the handful of schools allowed to participate in a broken system.

But like it or not, either Alabama or Texas will be able to raise their collective fists and be called the last team standing. Despite the fact that we have a number of hardcore Florida Gators fans in the MTV Newsroom (including the people behind Hollywood Crush and Splash Page), we don't know a whole lot about college football. But what we do know is music, which is why we think we know exactly who is going to take the title.

Tonight isn't just about two football teams — it's about two bands that have never waged war before but really, really should. We're talking about country-rock legends Alabama and Scottish future-poppers Texas. Let's look at the tale of the tape.

Alabama

From: Alabama (duh)

Best Known For: Putting out a ton of albums and selling over 73 million copies over a 30-plus year career.

Best Identified By: All-business beards and general lack of sleeves.

Are They Difficult To Google? Not really. They wisely named their official Web site "thealabamaband.com."

Football Playing Ability: Likely high. Despite his age, lead singer Randy Owen is a pretty rugged-looking dude.

Key Video: "Touch Me When We're Dancing"

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Texas

From: Scotland (inexplicably)

Best Known For: Being a Scottish group with a confusing name.

Best Identified By: Foxy singer Sharleen Spiteri.

Are They Difficult To Google? Suprisingly, no. Searching for "Texas band" does get you listings for the University's marching band, but will deliver Glasgowian bliss first.

Football Playing Ability: Likely low, especially considering European-ness.

Key Video: "Say What You Want"

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So there you have it: Alabama will beat Texas.