By Sabrina Rojas Weiss
While many "American Idol" fans are still reeling from last night's results, some of us aren't so concerned with how America voted. Because for us, the more important aspect of the finale show was its spectacle. Rather, its many spectacles.
In the following list of our 10 favorite insane outfits to grace the Nokia Theatre stage, you'll notice Kris Allen is missing. It takes more than a sweet smile and a black leather jacket to rank #1 here:
1. Adam Lambert attempts to out-glam KISS. I can't be the only one to let out a squeal when I saw those metal shoulder pad/wings, accompanied by jeweled eye-liner and jacket that may or may not have been skinned from a crocodile. I wonder how the Middle America vote would've gone if he'd worn this on Tuesday night?
2. Kara DioGuardi attempts to out-expose Bikini Girl. Though she instantly seemed to regret stripping in front of the world, I think that if I had abs like hers, I'd try to show them off a little more.
3. Queen Latifah attempts to out-round Lil Rounds. The Queen said she actually helped to design this extremely unflattering bodysuit thingy. And so she gets an A-plus for bravery.
4. Megan Joy tries to remind us of her existence with a hot-pink jumper. Last night, she was absolutely the worst vocalist of the bunch, but did she try to hide behind Lil and Allison? No. She let her outfit roar out: I'm hot, so all I really need is an album deal and some Auto-Tune assistance!
5. The Black Eyed Peas and their masked dancers remind us of the inanity of "Boom Boom Pow." Actually, the dancing wasn't even that great, but it was a decent attempt at "art." Plus, it made me excited for "So You Think You Can Dance."
6. The top 13 joined some kind of cult to sing Pink. Clad in all white, with oddly placed zippers, they looked like they were either about to drink some Kool-Aid or had just escaped an institution.
7. Rod Stewart brings back his mod look. His voice was rather weak during "Maggie," but that plaid jacket was enough flair to lend him an air of confidence.
9. Cyndi Lauper borrows her pants from the above-mentioned Pink-singing cult. Which came first, her decision to wear those 10-inch heels or her decision to play the dulcimer?
10. Randy Jackson's velvet bowtie makes him cuddly again. Enough with this slimmed-down, stylish look. You can get away with a lot more vague crazy talk when you're wearing velvet.