Britney Spears Hired The Guy From The Max, But Zack Attack Are Still Unemployed

When I heard that Britney Spears was employing the man who played the Max proprietor on "Saved by the Bell," Ed Alonzo, my immediate reaction was, "That is really unexpected." After it sunk in, I then had to ask, "Who came up with that zany idea?" Then I remembered that he used to perform magic tricks while serving burgers and milkshakes to Zack Morris, Kelly Kapowski and the rest of the crew.

It then led me to wonder why Britney couldn't make room on her tour for the best TV band ever, the Zack Attack. They made sweet pop tunes and would be the perfect opening act for Britney's circus. Who could forget their fictional hit single, "Friends Forever"? Or the tender ballad the group sang at the prom when Kelly dumped Zack for the new Max boss, college boy Jeffrey Hunter? (By the way, said song was Michael Bolton fan fave "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You.")

So, since Britney is employing the man who first ran the Max, can't she find a place on her tour for Jeff? The actor who played Jeff, Patrick Muldoon, is now the lead singer of a band called the Sleeping Masses — I bet they could find the time to hop on her tour as the opening act. Just imagine having Ed onstage as the magician and Patrick there opening the show! We'd ask Britney to consider inviting Hot Sundae on tour, too, but she probably doesn't want the competition. I mean, look at those moves!