Before we get to tonight’s live-blog of “American Idol’s” second batch of Hollywood Week episodes, it seems like you, too, were disappointed by last week’s “Idol” offerings. The comments on my live-blog all echoed the same sentiments I ranted about – poor pacing, confusing editing – so here’s hoping this week’s round of “Idol” episodes won’t leave us bewildered and angry. At the very least, the lackluster “Idol” has prompted you guys to write especially awesome commentary of your own. Take, for example, MTV.COM user Y2Kyle, who delivered my favorite comment of the night. “The other networks call this show the Death Star, does anyone else remember the part of the movie where the Death Star blows up? Could this be it?” Snap! I’m not much of a “Star Wars” guy, so I don’t really understand the reference, but it sounds clever as all heck. Great job, Y2Kyle!
So buckle up, kids. We’re in for another “Idol” Hollywood episode. Hopefully it’s not as bumpy as last week. Let the live-blogging commence!
7:58 pm – Before “Idol” begins, I should warn you: I officially have no voice (you’ll hear it in tonight’s “MTV Detox,” premiering at 11pm), and to help heal my ailing chords, my doctor prescribed me steroids. And now I have a ravenous appetite. So if my live-blogging is lagging tonight, it’s probably because I’m stuffing my face with banana bread.
8:00 pm – They better show Megan Corkrey tonight, dangit!
8:01 pm – Tonight’s episode will feature the remaining 72 contestants singing with a full band. This is when Josiah choked. There better be drama tonight!
8:03 pm – “American Idol” is going all “Memento” on us, telling the story in reverse. Fun!
8:04 pm – Adam Lambert is up first. He’s going to sing “Believe” by Cher. And he’s singing it like Kiki and Herb. (So…he’s gay, right?)
8:05 pm – Matt “Not Elliott Yamin” Giraud is back. And he sounds hoarse. Who does he think he is, me?! Actually, his “Georgia on my Mind” makes me think of him like a piano-man version of John Mayer. Plus, he makes funny faces when he sings. How long before Matt’s schtupping Aniston?
8:07 pm – Jamar Rogers is crashing and burning on “Hey There Delilah.” Hey Jamal, “what you’re doing to me-e-e” is making me uncomfortable.
8:08 pm – Danny Gokey’s “I Hope You Dance” has inspired Paula to imitate a rodeo clown. It has inspired me to grab some sour cream and onion potato chips.
8:11 pm – Okay, so what do we think? Jamal will be a goner? And Gokey and Lambert are safe? (I’m pretending I didn’t read the “Idol” spoilers. Thanks a LOT, MJ!)
8:13 pm – Anoop “I’m Not Cut” Desai is up next. It’s his prerogative. Fun song choice.
8:14 pm – Scott “Blind Guy” Macintyre is back. I am totally unimpressed. Am I heartless? He’s happy he caused Paula to give him a standing ovation. Darling, don’t be flattered. She gives standing O’s when her puppies use the pee pad correctly.
8:16 pm – Kendall Beard, Lil Rounds, Kristin McNamara, blah blah blah. Where’s Megan Corkrey?!
8:17 pm – Mishavonna Henson (officially the Mariska Hargitay of “Idol” – her name is so much fun to say!) is back after getting cut during last year’s Hollywood Week. She looks like a brunette version of John Roberts’ character, Debra.
8:22 pm – Interesting that the contestants are picking such contemporary songs to sing this year. I wonder if “Idol” is pushing them to do that for the first time? Usually we just hear Stevie and Aretha and the Bee Gees and Whitney a million times.
8:24 pm – This just in: Tatiana del Toro is still infuriatingly unlikable. And probably certifiably insane.
8:26 pm – Nathaniel “Drama King” Marshall is rocking out to a guitar-based “Disturbia” intercut with all his backstage drama. I like it a lot, even though it’s making me sad to think about Rihanna’s current situation. :(
8:27 pm – Joanna Pacitti forgot the lyrics to “If I Ain’t Got You.” Don’t worry, girl. You’re a ringer! “Idol” won’t kick you off. Casey Carlson forgot the words to Jordin Sparks “Tattoo.” But in her defense, the lyrics to “Tattoo” are so inane and vapid that they’d be easy to forget.
8:28 pm – Stephen Fowler is the dude we already know is going to forget the words thanks to “Idol” promoing his mess-up every commercial break. He’s asking for a “Brooke White.” And then he messed up again.
8:29 pm – Tatiana is being called out of the holding room at the end of the day for some unknown reason. The music reminds me of “24.” Is it wrong that I hope Jack Bauer is going to be on the other side of the door, ready to stick her with a tranq dart?
8:32 pm – I just polished off a bag of chips. And I’m still hungry. STEROIDS!!
8:34 pm – Norman Gentle is performing “Georgia On My Mind.” Performance art! What an interesting character! He’s on the wrong show, but I’d totally pay to see that guy at Joe’s Pub. Come on “Detox” Norman Gentle!
8:37 pm – We’re learning the room breakdowns. Norman Gentle and Anne Marie Boskovich are together. Leneshe “Nati” Young is in a separate room. Uh oh!
8:38 pm – Ju’not Joyner is adding some soul to “Hey There Delilah.” And he has a cute son. Score!
8:39 pm – Tatiana del Toro is now in room 4, along with Norman Gentle. Everyone’s flipping out that she’s there. So am I. Because I have an inclination that she’s going to be through to the next round.
8:42 pm – Anyone else frustrated with the fact that we’re not seeing any performances tonight? Just let us see SOMETHING. Hearing everyone sing a line or two is not satisfying. Nor are these cookies I’m gobbling down. Sheesh!
8:44 pm – Kaylan Loyd is singing as though she’s giving birth on stage. No wonder Simon stopped her.
8:45 pm – Leneshe Young is taking the stage to sing “I’m Not Gonna Write You A Love Song.” I LOVE THIS GIRL. LET ME HEAR MORE OF HER PERFORMANCE! BOOOO!
8:46 pm – Kai Kalama’s voice is going. He needs steroids stat! (And then he’ll need 4 cheeseburgers. TRUST ME.)
8:47 pm – What’s with this weird split screen “Idol” keeps using? It looks like an old photo portrait from the ’60’s.
8:48 pm – Simon’s off to London, but he’s left Kara, Randy, and Paula’s comically oversized charm necklace to break the news.
8:49 pm – Paula Abdul + ridiculously convoluted and overemotional speech = Duh! You’re through! Joanna Paciti, Alexis Grace, Casey Carlson, Kai Kalama, Jasmine Murray, Stephen Fowler, Michael Sarver, Nathaniel Marshall, congrats! (Half those fools forgot their words. Boo!)
8:51 pm – Leneshe Young is cut! And Michael Castro! India Morrison! Kaylan Loyd! I’m so sad about Leneshe! At the very least, she gave me a killer ring tone. “I like your thuggish wayyys!”
8:55 pm – Things that are smaller than Paula Abdul’s necklace: a bread basket, most puppies, Australia.
8:57 pm – Room 1 is through. Anoop, Scott, Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert, Lil Rounds, Jorge Nunez, congrats! What does this mean for Room 4?
8:58 pm – Tatiana is literally having a meltdown. But it’s all for naught. She’s through!
9:00 pm – MEGAN CORKREY SIGHTING! SHE’S THROUGH!! YAY! So….can I at least hear her sing again? Gah!
9:01 pm – Oh, “Idol,” you mad geniuses. Just when I was about to give up on you, you go ahead and add some crazy pointless framing device to the show. Tomorrow we’ll watch the Top 36 reveal at the JUDGE’S MANSION?! And they’ve added a “Sing For Your Surivival” round? HA! I LOVE THIS SHOW!
Okay, kids. I’ll be back tomorrow at 8pm to live-blog “Idol'”s 2-hour “We Watched The Tape and Changed Our Minds” episode. Until then, let me know what you thought of tonight’s show. Did anyone blow you away, a la Archuleta’s “Heaven” last year? Are you also underwhelmed by Blind Guy? And do you have ANY clue as to what Paula had dangling from her neck? Hit me up in the comments. My fave one will get a shout-out in tomorrow night’s live-blog.
Thanks for reading and watching with me!