I Saw Morrissey Naked Today -- And So Can You!

By April Richardson

Morrissey, former lead singer of the legendary Smiths, huge influence on bands like the Killers and Fall Out Boy and one of the headliners at this year's Coachella festival, will release his latest single, "I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris," on February 9. It's a great song, but that's not what I want to address here. What I need to deal with is MORRISSEY BEING NAKED on the inner sleeve artwork.

See the naughty artwork, after the jump!

You guys, I like Morrissey. No, I love Morrissey. In fact, that's the understatement of the century, as I have spent more than half my life and nearly all of my money buying anything he has anything to do with as well as following him all over the globe. He has influenced my taste in music, movies and books, as well as my style of dress and outlook on life. He's a total genius and is arguably the greatest pop lyricist that ever lived. But did I need to see his crotch fuzz?

I don't know, to be honest. I can't decide. Considering I've had a crush on him since I was 12, part of me is all, "HOLY CRAP MORRISSEY NAKED THIS IS THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!" But then another part of me thinks it's kind of weird for someone as cool as Moz to do something that the Red Hot Chili Peppers have essentially done before. BUT THEN yet another part of me — the part that thinks critically and analytically about Morrissey's every move — kind of loves that it's a pretty daring thing to do in today's youth-obsessed culture, to just sort of be like, "Yeah, I'm a nearly 50-year-old man, and I ain't exactly a Chippendales dancer, but HERE IT IS, WORLD! DRINK IT IN!" It kind of reminds me of when (or, reading about when this happened, because I was 4 years old at the time) the Smiths released their first single, "Hand in Glove," and everyone flipped out because it had a man's bare bum on the cover. Scandal!

I keep getting re-shocked every time I look at the picture, and I feel like today my life has been divided into two very distinct periods: Pre-Seeing Morrissey Naked and Post-Seeing Morrissey Naked. We are now living in PSMN Year One. Is Moz going to kick off this new year by performing on stage in nothing but a sock? I guess I'll see on the nine shows I'm hoping to attend on his upcoming March tour of the East Coast.