World Music Awards Honor Sales, Scoff At Quality

Coldplay's Chris Martin

Sitting in the room where they decide who will be nominated for the annual World Music Awards must be awesome.

"Michael Jackson for zee best Pop Male Artist!"

"Vy viss the Michael Jackson again? Alvays viss the Michael Jackson!"

"We shall give zee award to zee Kid Rock, not that Enrique Iglesias. Hees mole makes me sheever. And if Jovanotti does not win the award for Italy, zere is zomezing rotten in Denmark! Haw-haw!"

OK, maybe that's not exactly how it went, but you really gotta wonder what the people behind the awards — based on international sales figures provided by the London-based IFPI — were thinking when they came up with this year's winners. Coldplay snagged the World's Best-Selling Recording Act honor for their album Viva la Vida at the annual awards show in Monaco over the weekend. They also snagged the Rock Group trophy, winning out over such actual rock bands as Metallica, Kings of Leon and R.E.M.

The World's Best Pop Female Artist is apparently Ms. "Bleeding Love" herself, Leona Lewis. So take that, losers (by which we mean such nobodies as Madonna, Mariah Carey and Rihanna). Kid Rock beat out such heavy-hitters as Enrique Iglesias, James Blunt and Michael Jackson for World's Best Pop Male Artist, an award he's sure to put on display in his bathroom. Rock had slightly meatier competition in the Pop/Rock Male Artist race from Lenny Kravitz, Jack Johnson and Blunt, another three-on-one cage match we'd like to see, and one in which we'd bet big money on Rock.

Somehow, nobody informed the folks at the show that Amy Winehouse has spent most of the past year collapsing, fighting nasty skin infections and dealing with a horrible lung disease her father said she contracted from smoking crack and cigarettes. No bother, she still beat out such hard-working ladies as Pink, Duffy and Katy Perry for the World's Best Pop/Rock Female Artist award.

But they got one award right, handing Lil Wayne the Best Hip-Hop/Rap Artist trophy over stiff competition that included Kanye West, T.I. and T-Pain.

And, because it's not an awards show unless Celine Dion gets some hardware, the Canadian warbler took home a Best Canadian Artist trophy. Scroll down the first page of the awards show's site and please tell us if you know anything about Philip Kirkorov, because all we know is that he looks awesome and he supposedly had his bodyguards rough up Russian rock band DDT's singer after the rocker made some cracks about Kirkorov's alleged lip-synching. We totally have to go to this show next year.