Bono To Write For The New York Times; Ozzy's Still Waiting For His Call

Now we know why that next U2 album really got pushed back until next year. It's not because the band has so much material that they can't get it all down on tape. It's because Bono has taken on yet another job: columnist for The New York Times.

Apparently, the only rock star who has Congress' ear will be writing between six and 10 op-ed pieces for the Times over the next year. According to New York magazine's Web site, Times editorial-page editor Andrew Rosenthal told a group of Columbia University Journalism School students that he recruited the renowned humanitarian to write about music (for no pay). On the other hand, the Times article announcing their new columnist said he'd be "covering a range of subjects."

At Columbia, Rosenthal also said he was thinking about asking Queen guitarist Brian May to write a few pieces for the paper as well. May, as you might have heard, has a doctorate in astrophysics, so maybe he can untangle the science behind the mortgage meltdown.

As long as the Times is not asking, we have some other suggestions for guest columnists:

Ozzy Osbourne: The perfect fill-in for stuffy Times Sunday magazine "On Language" columnist William Safire.

Britney Spears: Hey, y'all, how about a guest column on the struggles of the single working mom?

Lil Wayne: Who better to weigh in on job outsourcing for the financial page than the man who has taken away more gigs than anyone else in hip-hop?

P. Diddy: Forget Warren Buffett. While the financial world panics, Diddy is busy buying companies. He could show readers how to spend that $750 billion bailout check in style, and I suspect it will involve a few cases of Ciroc.

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan: Both gossip-page regulars have spent almost as much time voicing their opinions on politics as they have been hitting the dance floor lately, and surely they wouldn't shy away from getting exposure in the one outlet that typically doesn't cover their other pastimes.

Who else do you think the Times should hire?