If you have no idea what I’m talking about, basically, on this week’s “FN,” Diddy showed up with his newest protégé a smooth R&B crooner by the name of Donnie Klang. Diddy and Donnie then premiered their new video, “Take You There,” which is full of models and bottles of vodka, which means it is a lot like other Bad Boy videos released over the past year. Two Bad Boy videos — from Day26 and Danity Kane — had premiered on previous episodes of the show, and I had been rather harsh to both of them.
Apparently, Diddy watches the show.
Before we started taping, it seemed like he was glaring at me backstage, but I figured he was just deep in thought or something, so I ignored it — surely, Diddy had no idea who I was. But when it came time for the panel — of which Tim Kash and I are members, along with a guest (Jordin Sparks this week) — to talk about D&D’s new video, Diddy bum-rushed the stage, leaned on my shoulder and stared daggers at me until it came time for me to render my verdict on the clip. (I believe this is called “intimidation.”)
Of course, I said that while the kids liked the video, I didn’t see much of anything in it that would separate Donnie from the field of light-hued R&B guys out there, at which point Diddy lost his sh–, yelling, “Who the f— are you?!?! How many hit records do you have?!?!?!” at me (OK, he does have a point there), then stomping around the panel. I sort of looked on in amazement while he continued to rant, stopping only to grab my head and plant a big wet kiss on my cheek. The audience cheered like crazy — and then Diddy was gone, off into the Los Angeles night.
In the aftermath, people have been e-mailing me questions like “What does Diddy smell like??!?!” or “Were you scared he was going to beat you with a phone or a champagne bottle?!?!” And my answers are this: Diddy smells like lotion and rich mahogany; and no, I wasn’t scared, primarily because I didn’t think even he’d be crazy enough to pound on me while cameras rolled and 500 kids looked on.
Actually, I think he was more “TV mad” (i.e. “acting”) than he was actually upset. And he did kiss me, which was sort of nice.
So I guess Diddy and I are good. At least I hope we are. At the very least, we made TV magic together — and that’s got to count for something.