Adam Levine, Chris Brown Vie For Rihanna's Attention

Let's unpack the above headline.

First off, Adam Levine was vying for the attention of Rihanna because, well, they were shooting a video for her collabo with Maroon 5, a track called "If I Never See Your Face Again." Also, he most likely enjoyed having the girl around because she's adorable (though perhaps less so in that catering outfit).

What Chris Brown was up to we can only glean from the totally presumptuous reportage of a certain Yasmine Richard, one of MTV News' busiest on-set producers -- because she was there. (Seriously, the woman's been on video sets all week...)

Remember the nosey, know-it-all neighbor Bonita Butrell from "In Living Color"? Her catchphrase was "But you ain't heard that from me!"

Wellllll, yesterday, on the set of Maroon 5 and Rihanna's video, a certain fresh-faced, six-foot-plus, tattooed R&B singer that I just talked to the day before at David Banner's video set, was on the set. That's right, C-Breezy was in the building! (Cue Bonita Butrell.)

Now I ain't one to put someone's business out there, but all I'm gonna say is I got friends and I got a best friend, but not one of them will come out to visit my behind in the middle of nowhere (read: Castaic, Cali). Only MY MAN (that's only if I didn't get on his nerves that day) would come kick it with me.

Just friggin' admit that y'all are boo'ed up!!! I'm tired of this! Chris, make her an honest woman! Declare your looooove for Cinder-ella ella ella to the world!

OK, I'm done now.