‘Pretty Little Liars’ Recap: ‘The Guilty Girl’s Handbook’

You’ll never believe who killed Det. Wilden on “Pretty Little Liars“! No, really, you’ll never believe her: After spending the entirety of “The Guilty Girl’s Handbook” thinking Hanna was gonna confess to the murder to get her mom out of jail, someone else stepped up to the plate: Mona. That sneaky biyotch helped Hanna practice copping to the murder she didn’t actually commit so she’d have a story that was actually believable, only to go in and confess instead.

Now things are even more confusing, because do you really believe she did it? Mona might be cuckoo, but she isn’t a killer. Or if she is, then we need wayyyyy more explanation than we’ll probably get next week. But I don’t think she’s a murderer, which makes me wonder why she’d confess. Is it because she wants to redeem herself in the eyes of the girls? If that’s the case, then there are other, better ways to do that with way less permanent consequences. But there are two more likely options: One, A made her. Or two, she’s in cahoots with A again. From the creepy grin she sported at the end of the episode, it seems more likely that she’s back on the A team. Why, Mona? Why?!

Hanna was about to make a really terrible decision (what else is new?) because the judge denied her mom bail and decided to transfer her to a prison upstate. Obviously that is terrible because it will be even harder to fight the murder charges, but in the immediate future it’s horrible for Hanna because it means she’ll have to move in with her dad, stepmom and evil stepsister. Hanna’s whole fake confession act was sort of a noble way to save her mom, but also kind of a selfish way to get out of moving. Geez, girl: One of your friends’ families would totally take you in. Emily and her mom will be displaced from their house for months thanks to the psycho (probably named A) who drove a stolen car into it. How about they move into your now-empty house and take care of you? Two birds with one stone. Problem solved!

Emily’s mom had a pretty big breakdown after Emily told her that she wanted to go to Nicaragua over the summer before college to help her old pal Rumer Willis (character name: irrelevant) and Habitat for Humanity. While we didn’t really get an explanation for why Em’s mom was crying (other than all the ridiculously awful things that have been happening to her and her daughter over the past few years), I’m thinking it might be because the family’s broke and without a swimming scholarship, she won’t be able to afford to even send Emily to college, let alone help fund a charity trip abroad. But we’ll have to wait and see.

Spencer’s the only one who spent the episode following up on another clue, going to visit her old nurse at Radley after she found a police report in some of the Wilden-related evidence her mom and her mom’s cute new intern were going through at the Hastings house. Nurse Lamb was there the night of Toby’s mom’s “suicide” and told Wilden a completely different story than the one that made it into the final police report. Lamb said he found the roof door unlocked and thought Mrs. Cavanaugh jumped from there, not the window, and hinted that Wilden had been paid off to change the story. Unfortunately, Spencer’s mom didn’t find that very interesting or relevant to Ashley’s case.

Yet again, Aria’s story was love-related, as she spent some time with hot martial arts instructor when she found out he’d been teaching Mike some moves too. It didn’t get very steamy (or steamy at all, really), but the flirtation between those two continues.

Do you think Mona really killed Wilden? Why would she confess? Why did Emily’s mom finally break down after being stoic for so long? And why would Wilden change Mrs. Cavanaugh’s police report?