FYI: If you ever find yourself sitting down, maybe gazing out a window, wondering where you can find a 100-year-plus unofficial (but fairly official) ruler of a supernatural city such as New Orleans, never fear. Where could this man be, you ask? Why, karaokeing in a happenin’ bar at some random hour during the day, of course!
The aforementioned man could be Marcel, the as-of-last-episode infamous (?) protégé of our buddy Klaus. Once a ragamuffin, orphaned street urchin, this lad remade himself in Klaus’ image. Except, he’s Klaus 2.0: the charismatic, brutal, and Machiavellian man we know and (secretly) love, but with actual friends. Like, loyal people that are not compelled. Who do his bidding and LIKE him! Seriously—he’s Klaus but beloved! What a strange and brilliant idea to create a mirror of Klaus that people like. And the tension has already begun: As Klaus now famously said, Marcel has everything he’s ever wanted: power, loyalty, family. And now our man wants what he has. But, instead of being a normal person and trying to get it by being cool and earning it, Klaus is going to try and take it away from Marcel. ‘Cause, like, Klaus built this city (on rock ‘n’ roll. Just kidding, I couldn’t resist…) So now it’s time for him to take back the reins, and reign. Lame puns intended.
And now, a list of high notes. ‘Cause it took place in New Orleans. And you associate that with jazz. And music. GET IT?
1. Living through centuries (and for Klaus and Elijah, that’s like 10), does not mean that you’ve accumulated enough knowledge to know what is a city and what is a town. Case in point: New Orleans is a city. Mystic Falls is a town. Klaus, Elijah, and Marcel seemed confused about the former.
2. Katherine’s back! Not that we got to see much of her; this episode mostly took place in NOLA, since it was a back-door pilot for “The Originals” series, which I hope gets picked up. There were a couple of inconsistencies; Marcel greeted Klaus as “Niklaus Mikaelson,” which is strange because they haven’t seen each other in a hundred years and Klaus only got that last name last season, but hey, these things happen. Also, the whole premise needs to be worked out: Klaus came down to put a stop to a witch’s (Jane-Ann) plot to “bring him down,” which most likely involved killing him. We were unable to hear from her directly, due to her unfortunate demise at the hands of Marcel, but her sister, Sophie, later explained that Marcel’s rule of New Orleans is out of control and she needs Klaus’ help to stop him. I like this plan, Klaus eventually went along with this plan, the series depends on this plan, but I don’t think this was the original plan. Because why would they spread it around that they wanted to stop Marcel? Unless it was to lure him there, and this really was their plan all along. Anyway, I really hope there’s more to the story; I like the idea of these witches and Klaus working together and Klaus being a double agent in Marcel’s inner circle (because that’s what he’s going to do!), but I’m sort of hoping there was some sort of history with Jane-Ann or their families or some eventual reveal, a la the Sun and the Moon curse is fake (although you all had to know that was true).
3. BIG SHOCKER: Hayley is PREGNANT! With the spawn of Klaus. This is how the witches convinced Klaus to stay in New Orleans. (Elijah helped, by reminding him of how much they love New Orleans, and how all Klaus has ever wanted was a family.) I’m also thinking it didn’t hurt that Julie Plec wanted Klaus to have his own TV show. But, you know. Although vampires can’t procreate, werewolves can! Note to self: NEVER have a one-night stand with a potential werewolf. This is the same as having a one-night stand with someone who tells you that his sperm is defective. You’d think the supernatural thing was contraception enough, but no. No, no, no. It’s like Bella and Edward having that impossible baby Renesmee.
4. To continue with the big shocker, I saw on Twitter that someone said that Klaus would be a great father. I’m not going to call anyone out, but are you OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND? Can you imagine having KLAUS as your father? Like, I’m hoping he’s going to redeem himself in this city, and I think his heart will be in the right place with his son, but still, you thought Elena Gilbert had daddy issues? This kid’s going to be like that TIMES 1,000!
5. Elena’s desiccating in the Salvatore dungeon. Next week they’re going to torture her until she feels. Yawn.
6. Elijah basically dumped Katherine, because he wants to go have his own show with Klaus and Rebekah in New Orleans, and she wants to have her own show with Elijah. #TVproblems
7. Marcel has somehow found a way to control the witches in NOLA by always knowing when they’re doing magic. Doing magic breaks the rules. What I want to know is this: Klaus and Rebekah, two fear-inspiring Originals, mentioned that the witches in the French Quarter were ones to be reckoned with. Somehow, Marcel has found a way to make these same powerful beings shake in their boots. What could he be doing that allows him to be more powerful than Originals? And, how are all of these witches so scared of him? Can’t little old Bonnie Bennett take on, like, 40 vampires at a time? Weak, guys.
8. This episode made me rewatch “Katerina” and “Klaus,” which was a very worthwhile decision. It reminded me that Elijah is the only Original who doesn’t have a British accent. This is funny, because it’s purely due to the fact that Elijah originally wasn’t supposed to be Klaus’ brother. Anyway, as exciting and mystical as “The Originals” seems to be, I can’t help but hope that they’ll flashback to other periods and places of Klaus’ life. I get that New Orleans is perfect because they’ve set it up to be this supernatural hub that Klaus helped to create, and it’s basically cosmopolitan Mystic Falls, but there’s so much more rich history, and I don’t want to get stuck in New Orleans. I want to know how Klaus went from being weak-Viking Klaus to bad-ass English Lord Niklaus to present-day I-don’t-even-know-how-to-describe-him Klaus.
9. There’s this bartender that doubles as a therapist, and she and Klaus are gonna have a thing.
10. Won’t No. 9 be awkward for Klaus’ baby mamma Hayley? Man, oh man, is that weird.
11. Oh, I see how Tyler will be able to come home! How convenient. Maybe he’s met another cute werewolf who’ll fall in love with him and then have a one-night stand with Klaus and carry his child? And this relationship will cause problems with Caroline? Sounds original, right?
12. But Klaus still likes Caroline.
13. And, scene!
How did you feel about the back-door pilot? Do you hope it gets picked up? Are you beyond psyched to get to know Marcel, Sophie, the rest of the witches, Hayley’s long-lost werewolf clown, and the other supernatural inhabitants of the city? Did you miss our Mystic Falls bunch? Did you see the whole Hayley-being-pregnant-with-Klaus’-child thing coming?! (Because I was kind of shocked..) I have to say that I’ve been feeling like a huge loser because no one’s been answering my questions. Like, if you don’t comment or tweet I sit around all day wondering why you don’t like me. Kind of like Klaus. Except, I don’t think he sits around and wonders why. Right.