Gus Van Sant Shot ‘Fifty Shades’ Scene Featuring Alex Pettyfer? We’ve Got So Many Question!

The big-screen adaptation of E.L. James’ naughty novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” has whipped up plenty of bogus speculation since it was optioned last year: Angelina Jolie directing! Emma Watson as Ana! Jonah Hill as…Christian!? But the latest rumor swirling around the blogosphere has got to be the best yet.

According to The Wrap, director Gus Van Sant (“Good Will Hunting”) shot a sample sex scene, starring Alex Pettyfer as Christian Grey, in a bid to helm the highly anticipated S&M tale. No word on who filled the shoes of Christian’s naive paramour Anastasia Steele, though sources did tell the site the scene in question was Ana losing her virginity to Christian.

The report caused quite a stir (and a lot of head scratching) in the MTV Newsroom. So much so, in fact, that we compiled a list of our top 10 questions regarding the rumor.

1. How do Gus and Alex know each other? Did they end up in line together at the same In-N-Out Burger one day?

2. Is Gus a “Magic Mike” fan? (And does he enjoy the “It’s Raining Men” scene as much as we do?)

3. Do you think Gus asked Matt Damon first?

4. Did Alex take it all off? Or, like, leave his argyle socks on?

5. Is the little Pettyfer visible?

6. What was the pay rate? Five Animal Style Burgers and a bag of cheese fries?

7. Emma Watson totally played Ana, right?

8. How many people have seen the tape?

9. Will we ever get to see the tape?

10. And, also, WHAT!?

Do you think there’s any validity to this report? What questions do you have? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter!