Peep EXCLUSIVE Red-Band Trailer For 'Hemlock Grove'

After Netflix's first, cerebral, sardonic foray into original programming with the political thriller "House of Cards," we don't know quite what we were expecting from their second binge-watch-ready direct-to-web series—more dialogue-driven drama, maybe, or a new riff on Kevin Spacey's smug/fabulous monologuing straight into the camera? But whatever our expectations, our EXCLUSIVE red-band trailer for "Hemlock Grove" has exceeded them, and then some, to the point where we cannot actually form coherent sentences due to its lingering effects; all we've got is a general sense of unbridled anticipation plus some fragmented mumbling about werewolves and worms and what unsettling thing may or may not be hiding inside Bill Skarsgård's pants.

And if that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry. IT WILL.

This first look at the supernatural horror of "Hemlock Grove" is a bloody, sexy, extravagantly over-the-top mess that should be watched with caution by anyone with a weak constitution and/or who has recently eaten breakfast. (The advance warning on the title bar for "mild fornication, fellatio, heavy cocaine use, lesbian necrophilia, violent hemorrhaging" doesn't even cover the half of it—there's also worms, vomit, freaky wigs, the world's most horrifying manicure mishap and a werewolf transformation sequence that would give Jacob Black nightmares for the rest of his life.)

But with an A-list cast including Famke Janssen, Lili Taylor, the aforementioned younger Skarsgård brother and the beautiful bedroom-eyed Landon Liboiron as a teenage Gypsy, there is no question that we're going to watch as many episodes of this blood-spattered madness as we can stomach when the series debuts on April 19.

Are you going to stay home all weekend with "Hemlock Grove"? Sound off in the comments and on Twitter!