by Melissa Albert
This week, the "Glee" kids reveal the embarrassing stuff that makes them tick. No Schue, no Finn, no Emma and (almost) no tears: best episode of the season!
Turns out Sam’s an outsider artist, whose weirdly good macaroni portraits (of such luminaries as Emma Stone, Kurt Hummel and the guys from Duck Dynasty) inspire this week’s theme: musical guilty pleasures.
But Blaine’s real guilty pleasure is Sam...he means Wham! It’s Wham!, of course. HE SAID WHAM! Just to prove the point, he and the club perform "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" in full '80s gear, but it’s hard to see anything over the glare of white Reeboks.
Brittany’s amazing web series, "Fondue for Two," makes another appearance, with special guest Kitty! Brittany’s not-so-guilty pleasure is telling the hilarious truth to people’s faces, and after informing Kitty that everyone hates her and her face looks like a soccer ball, they blonde bond over their deepest, darkest secrets. Kitty’s is the Spice Girls, so the glee girls rock "Wannabe." (Then Artie inadvertently reveals his own guilty pleasure: Kitty dressed as Ginger Spice.)
Kurt’s guilty pleasures? “Golden Girls,” “Moonlighting,” Richard Simmons, aaaand...his boyfriend arm pillow, which he named Bruce. Brody’s dumped Rachel, but Kurt’s forced Santana into keeping the gigolo thing under wraps until graduation, which she does veeery reluctantly, right until Rach implies that she might get back together with him one day.
Santana tells all, and Rachel flaps off to scream at Brody. When she learns that Finn flew all the way to New York to beat up Brody on her behalf, she responds by being flattered instead of terrified. Because nothing says love like flying across the country to hide in a hotel bathroom then beat up a prostitute.
After one last duet (Radiohead’s "Creep"), their relationship is officially dead. Bye bye, creepy Brody. We’ll miss your dead blue eyes and rubbery pecs.
Meanwhile, Sam Evans, secret Barry Manilow lover, gets up the courage to come out of the closet. He loves Barry’s music! He loves his hair! He loves his smooth style! Wrapping his arms in flamenco skirts, he performs "Copacabana," inspiring the rest of glee to join the Fanilow club.
Jake’s not so lucky: The glee girls lose it when they learn he plans to perform a Chris Brown song. But we say Jake’s the only one taking this assignment seriously: loving Chris Brown is actually something to feel guilty about.
In a wildly failed attempt to choose a less contentious Brown, he instead performs Bobby Brown’s "My Prerogative," officially becoming the heir to the Mike Chang dance belt. Jake can DANCE! His moves and his total lack of Whitney-Bobby awareness amaze in equal measures.
Blaine’s still feeding a flame for Sam, and performs Phil Collins’ "Against All Odds" under the guise that it’s about Kurt. Sam finally admit that he’s known about Blaine’s crush all along, and that he’s totally cool with it (re: way flattered).
After calling it for-real quits with the gigolo, Rachel decides Santana can officially become her roommate. The Bushwick kids cozy up with their anthropomorphic pillows and sing some “Mamma Mia,” and we bask in the glow of a truly awesome ep.
Song of the episode: “My Prerogative,” because we’d like to take this moment to request that Jake perform Michael Jackson next. We’re dying to see his moonwalk.
What did you think of last night's "Glee"? Are you glad Brody's dunzo? Which performance was your favorite? Are you contemplating getting your own boyfriend pillow? Tell us everything in the comments and on Twitter!