‘Girls’ Recap: ‘On All Fours’

Despite a seemingly successful intervention on the part of her parents last week, Hannah continued to spiral into darkness (see: picking her wedgie eight times in an elevator) during the penultimate season two episode of “Girls.”

The would-be e-book author went to meet with her editor, who hadn’t even finished reading her pages—not because he didn’t have time but because he didn’t want to. “I just felt like I didn’t know who was writing them,” he said, suggesting that if she wasn’t having sex, she should just start making stuff up and rejigger the work as a novel. Hannah promised to dust off the other 200 pages or so of material she had on her laptop and send it off to him.

At her apartment (which she is affording by herself how?), Hannah sat on the floor working in her undies, periodically scooting around like a toddler to reach jars of olives and other necessities…until she got a big, fat splinter embedded in her butt cheek. She removed the offending sliver then moved on to her ears, swabbing one with such force that part of the Q-Tip broke off inside her ear. Really, Hannah?! She went to the hospital, where the attending physician treated her with not a little disdain. “What were you digging for, gold?” he asked. Nonetheless, he let her take the bloody swab home as a souvenir.

As Hannah floundered, it seemed ex Adam was finally getting his footing again. He and Natalia had been dating for a whole week, and she was ready for sex (albeit with several caveats). “I like how clear you are with me,” he said. (A dig to ex Hannah who had a hard time vocalizing her feelings for him?) Natalia invited Adam to be her date to her friend’s engaged party, and as you may have guessed, he didn’t exactly fit in. “He has the face of an old-timey criminal,” the newly affianced told Natalia. Wandering outside for some air, Adam bumped into a recently released-from-the-hospital Hannah, whom he chatted with awkwardly from a distance. For a brief moment, it seemed the life returned to Hannah’s eyes, but it quickly vanished when he vanished back into the bar.

Perhaps undone by his run-in with Hannah, the long-sober Adam ordered a drink to show Natalia a good time. Or something. He finally took his new girlfriend to see his apartment, which she deemed as darker than him. But it didn’t take long for her to find out just how dark Adam could get. He ordered her on all fours to crawl to his room, which she did, hesitantly. The two had sex, and it wasn’t at all how Natalia wanted it. “I really didn’t like that,” she said. “Is this it? Are you done with me?” Adam replied, having showed her all the ugliness inside him. (If next week’s preview of Adam tearing down his apartment is any indication, he and Natalia are indeed done.)

And then there was Marnie, who continued to make a fool of herself. She appeared at Charlie’s Chelsea office once again, but this time for good reason: He stood her up for lunch. (Did he and his GF break up?) To make amends, Charlie invited her to the office party that night in celebration of 20,000 MAUs (monthly average users, duh). At the fete, Marnie co-opted the DJ booth, plugging in her own iPod to perform a slowed-down version of Kanye West’s “Stronger.” The room was not impressed. Charlie dragged her into his office, where he decided once again that the best way to solve Marnie’s problem was to kiss her. And this time she kissed him back.

Guilt-ridden thanks to her brief entanglement with a doorman, Shoshanna kept her distance from Ray at the party, talking up any man who seemed gainfully employed. When Ray finally confronted her about it, she broke down and admitted to “holding hands” with the doorman—a very 4th grade sort of half-truth. To his credit, Ray said it was okay as long as she still wanted to be with him, which she agreed she did. For how long, is now the question.

What did you think of last night’s “Girls”? Do you want Marnie and Charlie to get back together? How will Hannah get out of her funk? Should Shoshanna just break up with Ray already? Tell us everything in the comments and on Twitter!