Don’t you just love it when “The Vampire Diaries“’ episode titles are literary references? It makes you feel all cool and clever when you get it. And then it makes you think more about the episode and its name and the reference and how it relates to the episode on an even deeper level! Like this one, “Down the Rabbit Hole.” We’re referencing the first chapter of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.” And it makes sense, because the title’s become synonymous with going on an adventure into the unknown. Which we certainly did! There were so many parallels; characters from both stories fell down a hole! Alice drank a bunch of things that made her really small and really big! A character may drink the cure to make her not a vampire! Alice saw lots of crazy things in that hole! Our characters saw their dead loved ones in that hole! I could go on and on (actually, I can’t—I think I got all the “Wonderland” parallels, except there are some more cultural references, but I’m finding them unnecessary.) Anyway, our show developers (did you catch that credit? Has that been there for a while? “Developed by Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson”? Fancy, guys.) are some clever, clever cats, trying to single-handedly educate today’s youth about classic titles through thinly veiled literary allusions. Good work, guys. Good work.
Anyway, time’s a wasting. Especially for our friends on the island. In fact, this whole remote island 200 miles off the coast of Nova Scotia reminded me of some other show whose main setting was a remote, deserted island. Have I ever talked about this before? This “Lost” show? You may remember it; Damon was chilling there before he became a vampire. I may have written a full post comparing this show to that. Well, it happened again. Our show developers think that they’re writing “Lost.” And that’s a funny concept, so I’m okay with it.
Okay, serious business time.
Damon’s subplot for the episode — One of those guys from “Twilight” got confused about which vampire vehicle he was on, and showed up at the island as Vaughn, one of the Five. He sounded as though he’s Australian, but 15 minutes later, his accent abruptly changed to Scottish. I also think in real life he is English. Naturally, I am confused about his pedigree. He’s apparently been watching the Mystic Falls gang. He’s kidnapped Damon for leverage, which is funny, because Damon doesn’t think they care enough about him to be used for leverage. That’s pretty silly, because everything on this show is controlled by Elena, and Bonnie would obviously consider this. Dur. But, in an interesting sequence of very fast scene switches (from Vaughn and Damon to Klaus, Tyler, and Caroline) we found out what many viewers may have expected: There is only one dose of the cure! WOW THIS IS SO SHOCKING except that it’s not. I mean, come on guys. The whole reason there’s a cure to begin with is to make one manwitch, Silas, mortal, and then have him killed to be brought to the other side to be with his crazy stalker Qetsiyah. Why are you so surprised? Honestly, who even spread this rumor about anyone can take this if they want to? I’m thinking it was Elena, because she’s silly about these things.
Klaus helps a hybrid(’s) girlfriend out — Elena and Stefan and Rebekah need Klaus’ sword; when the rest of their party was kidnapped, they figured (correctly) that they were all being led to the cure, and our trio wanted to get there first. So, a call to Caroline was made. They had the pictures of Jeremy’s tattoo—they just needed the sword to translate it. Since Klaus was still locked in Elena’s house from Bonnie’s spell, Caroline was able to go and find it. She and Tyler got to work on decrypting it (apparently “The Da Vinci Code” tells all), until they realized it was in Aramaic. A dead, biblical language. That Tyler’s never heard of. (Er, really? I’m questioning your intelligence, Lockwood.) Luckily for them, Klaus has! In fact, Klaus speaks Aramaic! Convenient, obviously; slightly impossible, too, because he was most certainly not around when people were speaking it (but, hey, I guess he’s got time on his hands), and basically just laugh out loud funny. And then Klaus translated it and died inside with happiness. Because he was just so gosh darn happy that everyone’s plans were foiled, that there was only one dose of the cure! So they were talking to Rebekah on the phone (how is this remote island even enabling cell service?), and Klaus told her to get to it first because there was only one dose. And then he was promptly cut off by Tyler and Caroline. Phone call aborted. Rebekah freaked out. Which she showed by telling Stefan, figuring out with his absence of language that he would give it to Elena, and then stabbing him before she ran away to get the cure first.
Let’s talk about Qetsiyah for a moment — Okay, so Bonnie’s related to her. That’s why Shane needed Bonnie to do the freeing-Silas thing. But like, why was Damon surprised last episode? Honestly, I’m convinced there’s only one witch line, because Bonnie is basically related to everyone, ever, except the Martins (I hope she’s not; the Jamie almost incestuous thing would have equally creepy comparisons to the Luka thing) and Shane’s wife. Okay, I could probably name more, but come on; I like the logic of Bonnie’s witch line being integral to the vampire storyline, but it’s getting to be a little ridiculous that they’re just so, so powerful, apparently. Like, how convenient is that, show developers? I mean, it would make more sense if Ayanna actually did the vampire spell. But she didn’t—Esther did! Also, I don’t really buy that Aramaic was Qetsiyah’s native tongue. I like that she’s supposed to be that old, and I get that her descendants had hundreds of thousands of years to disperse to wherever they created the Five and Scandinavia and Salem and Mystic Falls, but I’m just not buying it. Also, I’m not exactly buying the Five’s mission, either. I get that they were empowered and created to find Silas, turn him mortal and kill him so he could be with Qetsiyah (yeah, Qetsiyah, that plan’s TOTALLY FOOLPROOF, you crazy witch), but were her descendants who created the Five to kill Silas just trying to kill two birds with one stone (the destruction of vampires and the ultimate goal of killing Silas)? It just seems like a messy mythological mixture, if you ask me.
They’re trying to make this big deal about Stefan wanting the cure for himself, not just to be with Elena — And I found this to be dumb. It was obvious. Why were you surprised, Elena? This was not new information. I wasn’t even sure why this was even a storyline, but I’m sure all the recappers in the world will find this to be so very essential. So I didn’t want you readers to miss out.
There’s someone else on the island — Vaughn wasn’t protecting everybody from what we can only assume were the natives. Just remember this. It’s important, guys.
Tyler and Caroline had their millionth, tearful goodbye — Klaus realized Caroline wouldn’t take the cure if she could, which was also pretty obvious, because Caroline was kind of a terrible person before she became a vampire. He told her they’re similar, so she implored him to show the same mercy to Tyler that she would show him. So he said that he’ll give Tyler a head start before he kills him. I know I’m supposed to care about this scene, which could be heartbreaking; it’s especially romantic when Tyler promised to forget Caroline and be happy until they could find a way to be together again (yeah, you read that right), but it’s just like, eh, whatever. You know?
We realized that the visions in the cave were being controlled by Silas — I’m not sure if that’s obvious, but I guess it could be. Bonnie saw Grams, and it was just like when Elena saw her mom during the hunter’s curse. This ghost was clearly not Grams, because she’s all for Silas, and we know that Grams would be completely against expression. Thank God Haley Joel was there to prove that Bonnie’s hallucination was not a ghost.
Someone attacked Elena in the cave — That’s it. (For now.)
AND IT WAS KATHERINE — THE MOST EXCITING THING EVER! Kat’s been the mysterious other on the island! Wow, I am so excited. But that changed when she fed Jeremy to Silas! This was after Vaughn stabbed Bonnie (is she going to be okay?!), and Jeremy got in a hunter battle with him. But let’s get back to KATHERINE FEEDING JEREMY TO SILAS. He looked dead. IS HE DEAD?! You never know with Jer and that ring and those dead people spoilers. I THINK HE’S DEAD FROM PREVIEWS. THIS IS REALLY, REALLY BAD. Like, now that Tyler and Jeremy are gone, how are they going to create useless plotlines involving naked torsos? Katherine ran away, but like, WHY DOES SHE WANT THE CURE? WHAT IS GOING ON? HOW CAN I EVER FORGIVE HER IF SHE KILLED JEREMY? Man, oh man, oh man.
What did you think of this episode? Were you surprised by the fact that there’s only one dose of the cure? Were you psyched/confused about Katherine’s return? Is Jeremy really dead? With Tyler gone, will Klaroline really happen? When will Tyler come back? Who’s going to get the cure? Will Silas be raised? Do we have a new badass character on our hands? Will Matt have a role again? What else deserves mention that I didn’t talk about?