It’s fair to say that having high standards when it comes to choosing boyfriends is a good thing. Handsome, sweet and strong? Must-haves. A pulse? Meh. Not necessary. Well…some of us must just have higher standards than others.
Just because his skin is ice-cold or he may suffer from slight decomposition (there are concealers and colognes to cover that up), it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the chops to make a great sig-O. Just take R, for instance, the subject of the new zombie romance flick, “Warm Bodies,” which hits theaters this week. Nicholas Hoult plays a shambling, brain-hungry, indie-music-loving zombie who fights his way back to humanity to save the girl he has fallen in love with (Teresa Palmer) from hoards of apocalyptic zombies. Swoon!
If you’re intrigued by the pale and the pulse-less, R isn’t the only quality undead fish in the sea. Hollywood has offered up quite a few suitable corpses…err bachelors…over the years. Check them out:
“My Boyfriend’s Back”…and you’re gonna be in trouble. Because he is going to eat your brains for mistreating his lady love! Hey la! A pitiable, lovesick teenager rises from his grave for love in this dark teen comedy from 1993. If that weren’t
stalkery romantic enough, he died saving her life during a convenience store robbery and upon returning topside, manages to win her heart despite a growing penchant for devouring other people’s hearts…and brains. How sweet!
If the super-sexy clay-molding scene from “Ghost” isn’t enough to convince you Patrick Swayze’s spectral character in this classic 1990 film is grade-A boyfriend material, you might want to check your own pulse to make sure you have one. This is another case of a murdered man eschewing the hereafter for the love of his life in the here and now. In this case though, there’s a hearty side-helping of revenge and heroism too, which earns Sam Wheat loads of additional attractiveness points. Plus, have you seen the way he looks at Demi Moore’s character? Melt-worthy!
“Twilight” heroine Bella Swan preferred this dead guy’s sparkly, icy touch to heat of passion with a live dude, and we can’t totally blame her. Ed has an old-school charm and sense of chivalry that could make any of us weak in the knees. You get the sense that if he had a heartbeat at all, it would beat only for you. And it helps that he doesn’t bite…hard.
Spike and Angel
That “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” chick was a lucky gal. She had not only one, but two undead suitors vying for her affections. There are many arguments among fans as to who made a better boyfriend during the course of the hit show’s seven seasons—Angel was generally considered more soulful and Spike more passionate—but we’d argue that either of these angsty, bloodsucking fellows would make great dates.
Once you get past this first-season “American Horror Story” personality’s many, many, many character flaws and murderous tendencies, this dead teen is really a gentle soul..possessed by occasional fits of brutal rage. And he looks amazing in shiny black latex. And if he’s into you, he will love you forever. And ever. And ever.
Honorable Mention: Casper
Yes, he’s underage…But so were we when “Casper,” starring Christina Ricci and Devon Sawa, came out in 1995! So it’s totally okay to consider him boyfriend-worthy. This misty little fellow is not only friendly, caring and loyal, but when he actually comes to life at the end (as Devon Sawa), we find out he’s totally hot! Just give him a few years to mature and someday he’ll make you very, very happy.
Did we forget any of your favorite undead boyfriends? Leave ’em in the comments and on Twitter!