Shoshanna, on the other hand, has apparently been sleeping alone, as we find her in the midst of spiritually cleansing her apartment, thanking the higher powers for her fast-growing hair and requesting Ray’s ruin. Clearly, her crack spirit guide has led her astray.
Unbeknownst to Marnie, she’s on a last-hurrah luncheon with her boss from the gallery. She’s being down-sized (not fired!). But it’s totally okay, because gorgeous, smart people always bounce back…right?
Now, if one of your “Girls” drinking game rules involves Lena Dunham’s breasts, well, bottoms up! Hannah hooks up with new guy Sandy (a.k.a. Donald Glover, a.k.a. Childish Gambino) before the opening credits even roll. But in light of the whole Adam-being-hit-by-a-truck thing, Hannah’s doing things differently, vowing to make “logical decisions” when it comes to this particular boy. And though she claims to have no guilt over Adam, it’s hard to tell when she’s serving as his own personal Florence Nightingale. She tries to broach the subject of their relationship status, but he just brushes her off. “You’re here all the time. You’re my main hang,” he says, telling her he doesn’t care about labels. Hannah accidentally sleeps over and is rewarded with bed-pan duty.
Once back at her apartment, Hannah and Elijah set about decorating for a housewarming. Unsurprisingly, Shoshanna is the first to arrive, reassuring her hosts that she’s fine; she may be deflowered but she is not devalued. Plus, she totes couldn’t care less if Ray’s coming to the party. Is Ray coming to the party? Come he does, as does Charlie and girlfriend Audrey, as well as Elijah’s much-older, much-more-drunk boyfriend George, who hijacks the karaoke mic to drop truth bombs on the younger, lamer generation. Hannah tricks him into leaving before sprinting to Adam’s to drop off pain medication and hand sanitizer (Adam doesn’t really strike us as a Purell guy). Anyway, Hannah tells him she never wants to see him again. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Awkward moments continue to abound at the party: Marnie has to hear how “great” things are going between Charlie and his pixie; Shoshanna’s cornered in the coat room by Ray, who offers up a few back-handed compliments before sticking his tongue down her throat. But the most uncomfortable, by far, has to be Elijah and Marnie’s hook-up. (Maybe Adam will lend us some of that hand sanitizer so we can dowse our eyeballs…) Hannah’s not going to like this. one. bit.
And, lest we forget about newlywed Jessa, she’s just returned from her honeymoon with Thomas-John. And she has no idea where they live!