'Vampire Diaries' Recap: 'We'll Always Have Bourbon Street'

Vampire Diariesby Cassie Title

So, blogosphere: What have I constantly reiterated about flashbacks? Basically, they’re nothing short of THE. GREATEST. MOMENTS. OF. MY. LIFE. (Yeah, I agree; that was a little intense.) So, I pretty much enjoyed this episode, thanks in part to some interesting flashbacks!

Before I continue from where this intro was supposed to lead us, I want to take a moment to discuss said flashbacks. Damon and Stefan went to New Orleans, and during their trip, we flashbacked back to them hanging on Bourbon Street in 1942. There were uniforms and dapper suits. And there was Lexi! But these flashbacks were qualitatively different than others, in my opinion. They were faster, tighter and more seamless. Great for relating to the present (which I guess is Julie Plec’s plan, according to interviews), but definitely left me wanting more, origin-wise. And let me just say, contrary to someone's potentially popular belief: flashbacks are not just for informing the present. I mean, they are, but not just plot-wise. They’re to continue to grow character arcs, and full characters are what I’m most interested in. Just saying.

Okay. Now for the good stuff!

-Post coitus, Damon and Elena are just so cute! And it’s so easy. And there are some very red claw marks on Damon’s back. Because of the very hot, very bloody, very sexy vampire sex. And I am very, very upset that this siring business, although it really should have nothing to do with their budding relationship, is going to make stupid Elena feel like it does.

-Trouble at the hybrid de-siring ranch. Adrian doesn’t want to keep turning. Tyler and Hayley say he has to, because if he doesn’t, he won’t perfect turning at will, and he won’t ever break the sire bond. Alyssa Diaz sees his pain but ends up just really wanting to be top dog (pun intended; she wants to be the Alpha), so she tells our friendly neighborhood sire-bond breakers that he’s done. That breaking the bond’s about free will. And now I want to yell at Alyssa Diaz and Tyler and Hayley, because all of you fools missed stating the obvious: there is NO WAY HE WILL EVER HAVE FREE WILL IF HE DOESN’T BREAK THE SIRE BOND. Like, goodness.

-After figuring it out with Caroline, Stefan tells Damon that Elena’s sired to him. Poor Dame (it’s weird, I know, but that’s the nickname I’ve been giving him in my notes. Just go with it.) He really had no idea, and is convinced Stefan’s wrong. That is, until Stefan urges him to ask Elena to drink from a blood bag. Which he does. And with his encouragement, she’s able to get it down. Which is painfully heartbreaking, because this proves she’s sired to Damon.

-While Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie (oh hey you’re back where have you been up to besides being UTTERLY USELESS ON THIS SHOW AS OF LATE) raid the Salvatore wine cellar and drunkenly dance and drink blood and drink weed tea slash spirit tea, Damon and Stefan are in New Orleans, looking for a witch who knows how to break the sire bond. How could Damon possibly know this, you ask? Why, he’s sired someone before! Who knew? Not I. Do you think that it has something to do with Damon? Like, if he turns someone who’s crazy about him (like Charlotte and Elena), that they’ll be sired? I’m thinking yes, probably. Anyway, last Damon saw Charlotte, he told her to count all the bricks in the city. And, guess what. That’s exactly what she’s been doing, for the past 70 years.

-The good thing about running into Charlotte is that she led the brothers to Nandi, the daughter of the witch Val who claimed she could break Charlotte’s sire bond, all those years ago. Turns out, no spell can do that. What Damon did before was unnatural; he had to sacrifice 12 human souls. Apparently, Val had him do that so she could harness something worse than black magic, something, I believe, they call expression, for her own purposes. I hope I got this wrong, cause, man oh man, is that a HORRIBLE NAME for THE MOST EVIL OF ALL MAGIC. Anyway, Damon killed all those people for nothing; the spell couldn’t have worked. The only way to break a vampire sire bond is to tell the person who’s sired to go, forget about the one who sired her, and have the one who sired her leave and never come back. This isn’t hard for Damon to do to Charlotte; for one, he hasn’t cared about her deeply in quite a while, if ever, for two, despite all you fools on the internet thinking otherwise, Damon’s become significantly less selfish.

-Alyssa Diaz gets pissed at Tyler for asserting his alpha status, and kidnaps Caroline. Elena goes to the stables to help, and right when Diaz’s about to torture Caroline, Elena offers herself up instead, selflessly claiming her importance to Klaus. Of course, Tyler ends up saving her and forcing Alyssa Diaz to submit. And right after, all the hybrids bow to him. Yes, you read that right. THEY FREAKING BOW TO HIM. This is so weird; it can set up some creepy thirst for power on Tyler’s part...

-In the cool-ass flashbacks, Lexi tells Damon that he’s not good for Stefan. Honestly, I’m so over this. I get that Stefan’s ripper tendencies wouldn’t be under control around Damon, but Lexi is so sure she’s figured Damon out, and honestly, I just don’t see Damon as bad anymore. I get he’s done a lot of unforgivable things, but so has Stefan! I mean, just in the last two weeks alone he instigated the murder of a hybrid and turned someone into a vampire expressly for the purpose of Jeremy killing him! And now he’s all split personality, being all self-righteous Stefan again, taunting Damon for being willing to kill those 12 people again. Last week he totally would’ve, so I don’t see him as having any right to judge. And as much as I love Caroline, I’m just so over Stefan that I want her to shut up and get on board with Damon. Stefan is no better a person that Damon, and I think everyone should understand that by now.

-When Damon gets home, he and Elena talk. Caroline had let it slip that she was sired, and they were both fearing what that would mean. Props to Elena: Unlike what I originally thought, she realizes (with the help of Tyler, who explained that feelings don’t change, just actions do when sired) that it doesn’t mean her feelings for Damon aren’t true. Nandi told us that, Tyler told us that, hell, I could’ve told you that. But I’m glad she gets it. Damon, however, needs to be sure. And the dilemma is he can’t really ever be sure, at the moment, because if he does what he thinks he has to do, by telling Elena to forget about him, then conceivably their romance would be lost. But somehow they’ll make it work, because it’s so obvious there is love there. Like, c’mon.

-Shane needs 12 unsired hybrids so he can channel up some expression. He even promises that Hayley can see her dead biological parents. Homeboy’s straight evil, and I can’t wait to see how his plan progresses.

What did you think? Did you enjoy the flashbacks? Wasn’t Elena all cool at girls' night, hanging out in bathtubs? (I have a friend who ends every good night in a bathtub, so I totally understand Elena’s sentiment.) Are you over Stefan? Do you want him to just leave? How interesting was it that Damon’s now managed to sire two people, considering how sire bonds in vampires are supposed to be one in a million? What was with that creepy bowing for Tyler? Where has Klaus been? Are you excited to learn more about Shane’s evil plan? Do you feel bad for Charlotte? Do you feel bad for Damon? Is Tyler in danger? Will Hayley betray us all? (I say us because you know we’re ALL involved. Even if we’re just watching.) Will this show ever get realistic again (you know, besides for the supernatural, our characters used to have legitimate guardians and go to school and such.)

Let me know! Seriously. I really want to know. It’s the mid-season finale next week and that’s super-sad so we need to talk about this episode while we have fresh watching energy! Comment away, tweet away, just don’t go away without sharing your thoughts.