‘Vampire Diaries’ Recap: ‘We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes’

by Cassie Title

I’m prefacing this recap by saying I totally knew that this would be the last episode before a hiatus. I have psychic powers, I just felt it. (I also remembered that, for obvious reasons, they usually skip Thanksgiving.) And yes, I’m pathetic in that a one-week absence has come to equal a hiatus in my soon-to-be “Vampire Diaries“-starved mind.

Also, I’m starting to wonder whether I actually still like this show. (I know: blasphemy.) I mean, okay, I obviously do, but week after week, I am just more and more frustrated with certain things. “We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes” was no exception.

The episode began with Elena, hallucinating all over the place. Connor was here, Connor was there, Connor was actually Jeremy, who she stabbed to shut the pesky ghost/hallucination up. Naturally, Elena being Elena (read: a self-pitying, lame-ass chick) was just feeling too much. I mean, yes, I understand you’re dealing with crazy hallucinations of the first man you’ve ever killed, and you accidentally stabbed your brother, which is horrifying, but I’m just so over how annoying and boring and self-righteous you are. Which is why I’m fairly excited for this new development, that we shall talk about later on.

It doesn’t seem like anybody ever told Jeremy that Elena’s the one who stabbed him after he woke up Gilbert-ringing it, but it’s safe to assume, I guess, that Stefan or Damon told him off-screen. At least there wasn’t an emotional, pathetic apology from Elena. (How many times can we do the, “Sorry, I killed you” thing on this show?)

Conveniently, to get Jeremy’s mind off of his most recent death, Atticus Shane (a.k.a. Professor McCreep) has, for some reason unbeknownst to anyone logical, set up an exhibit on witchcraft, and Bonnie has gotten Jeremy to help. We learned some interesting witch mythology, which (witch! FUNNY) is right up my alley. Silas (I want to say Cylus, but the internet’s proving me wrong) was a powerful man-witch who got a lady witch, Qetsiyah, to help him do a spell to make him immortal. Unfortunately for Qetsiyah, who loved Silas, he wanted to do the spell on another woman to make her immortal. So, naturally, Qetsiyah killed the woman and buried Silas alive. Legend has it that Silas wants to rise again, because apparently he’s not dead down there, being buried alive and all. Duh. Obviously, this stuff’s important and will fit into something (is Shane somehow Silas? If not, what are some other explanations?), but I’m not quite sure how, yet.

What I am quite sure of is how annoying Elena is, which becomes especially evident when Katherine returns via a hallucination. Katherine is incredibly obnoxious, and almost too snarky to believe that she was ever a real character, but she’s just so damn awesome. Nina Dobrev, you’re amazing, but can you please bring some Katherine to Elena? Or at least get Katherine back for good? I DO NOT BUY THAT SHE SPENT HUNDREDS OF YEARS PLOTTING TO FOIL KLAUS AND NOW SHE’S JUST CHILLING SOMEWHERE, NOT SCHEMING.

If you weren’t sure, Katherine appeared, along with all the other hallucinations, because of a curse left over from the witch’s spell that bound The Five together. When one kills a hunter, they become tormented by its spirit; despite the fact that the hunter’s dead, he won’t stop haunting you until he makes you his last victim. Which is why everyone, from Connor to Katherine to Miranda Sommers Gilbert (almost sick that that hallucination worked the best; a manipulatively sweet version of Elena’s late mother) tried to convince Elena to kill herself.

Klaus knew how to deal with this firsthand, because, since he killed the original five hunters, he suffered from hallucinations and such for 52 years. Um, hello? I thought you were the most BAD-ASS VAMPIRE OF ALL TIME? It took you 52 years to stop the hallucinations (well, they just kind of stopped on him eventually)? It took you thousands of years to break your stupid hybrid curse? Klaus, you are just not the man I thought you were. However, it was still pretty cool to see you vamp-klepto Elena, lock her up in some weird room, and “try to help her.”

Since Jeremy was still growing his invisible tattoo, Bonnie and Damon used Professor McCreep’s advice: They activated another hunter, because then Elena’s torment would end. So, Stefan tried to break Elena out of Klaus’, with the help of Tyler and Hayley (who talked to Klaus’s unsired guard, Chris). He succeeded, except for one minor detail: Elena started hallucinating, thinking he was Connor, and stabbing him.

While Elena was roaming the town, feeling sorry for herself and suffering from hallucinations, Stefan had Jeremy kill Chris right in front of his werewolf friends. They apologized, but it seemed to go against everything our heroes had stood for. Killing an innocent (a friend of Tyler) just to save Elena? She would not have wanted that, and a few episodes ago, neither would Stefan or Jeremy.

Stefan got Damon to find Elena, because, apparently, he’s the only one she’ll listen to right now, because she still doesn’t trust Stefan. Here’s my issue: I do really get that, but at the same time, Stefan and Elena’s talk at the end didn’t sit well. Everything they said was true, but the whole feeling-more-connected-to-Damon-thing doesn’t seem earned.

So, after Elena’s mom hallucination encouraged her to throw her day ring into the water below Wickery Bridge, Damon found her, talked some sense into her, and then, as the sun came up, threw the both of them into that water and saved her (death) life.

And then I was all capital letters, all full-on open-mouth gasping. Because Stefan broke up with Elena. On her front porch. I’m almost angry at him, because although I’m kind of incredibly excited for an Elena/Damon whatever, what kind of love does he have for Elena that can’t be the same because she’s changed? Like I said last week, it no longer seems true; it seems manipulative.

Damon also finally clued Elena in to Stefan’s lies: Obviously, he wasn’t really lying to her (her whole being mad at him thing pissed me off, too); he was just trying to help her cure her vampirism. Which, goes back to the untrue love thing. But the important thing is STEFAN AND ELENA BROKE UP I DIDN’T EXPECT IT AT THAT MOMENT I’M FREAKING OUT WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN EGAD?!

Other things of note:

1. I heard that April’s character was supposed to be some sort of reminder of Elena’s humanity. That’s a really bad joke, if you ask me. I think April has the potential to be interesting; she’s recognized Connor and Shane (who Matt found out was talking to her dad ALL THE TIME, and clearly helped plan the Council’s death), but until she stops acting like a puppy that needs to just go away, I don’t care.

2. Jeremy Gilbert, Vampire Slayer. How’s THAT gonna work out?

3. I must know what Shane is up to. It seems really big and interesting, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint me.

4. Can Rebekah come back already?

5. I don’t buy Klaus anymore. He went from my favorite-ish character to someone whose motives just don’t make sense. He knows that his hybrids hate being sired to him, he knows that his sister truly loves him; he needs to just give up on his hybrid family and focus on his real one. Find a different something for him to do, producers.

6. Katherine should come back and give Elena lessons on being interesting and worth watching.

7. Tyler and Caroline are in trouble: she either inadvertently or purposefully helped Jeremy and Stefan kill his hybrid friend, Chris, who he had promised to help. She’s also pretending to be broken up with Tyler for Klaus’ benefit, and agreed to go on a date with Klaus. Tyler is pissed, and rightfully so (not really for the date, but for killing his friend and not really being remorseful.) Sparks are gonna fly with him and Hayley.

What did you think of this action-packed episode? ARE YOU TOTALLY FREAKING OUT THAT ELENA AND STEFAN BROKE UP? Do you think it’ll last? Will she have a relationship with Damon? What is Shane up to? Is he Silas? Why does he need Bonnie; what’s his plan? How are the Gilberts going to continue to deal with being killers? Will April ever figure out the interesting connections between her wackdog father and these vampire haters, and tell us? How awesome was Matt, in finding out that April’s dad called Shane 10 times the day he died? Who will be Damon’s new drinking buddy? (Where you been, MFell?) Where are the authorities in this town? Now that Elena acknowledged that she’s different and darker, will that give her space to just live and be fun? CAN YOU NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT SHE AND STEFAN BROKE UP? Do you like that I wrote a normal recap instead of bullet points?

Let me know! On Twitter, or in the comments below. I really, really, really, really want to know. Like, as much as I want Katherine back (which is a lot) and as much as I want Elena to start being less of a lame character. So, thoughts and feelings people! Thoughts and feelings.