If you tuned into last night’s MTV First: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2” featuring stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, you not only got a sneak peek at their hotly anticipated November 16 release, but also a first look at (listen to?) the clandestine screenplay for follow-up “Breaking Dawn – Part 3.” Never mind that it was actually penned by MTV News’ Josh Horowitz and clearly not sanctioned by series author Stephenie Meyer.
And despite its unauthorized status, the trio was willing to do a cold read-through of the script—a read-through that, if we’re being honest, went off the rails quite quickly. In fact, the cast didn’t even make it all the way through their sides. But it’s okay, because the screenwriter has given us permission to post the scene in its entirety. Check it out after the jump!
JACOB: Wow, I can’t believe it’s been a year since all that stuff happened with all those crazy vampires.
BELLA: Excuse me, “crazy vampires?!?” At least we don’t go around falling in love with babies. Weirdo.
EDWARD: Speaking of which, where is Renesmee?
BELLA: Oh just off doing kid things like murdering deer in the forest.
JACOB: Edward, what’s wrong? You look worried or in pain.
BELLA: Don’t worry. That’s how he always looks.
EDWARD: No, I sense something. I think we have a visitor.
JOSH: Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. The door was open. I’m bigshot modeling scout Josh Powers.
BELLA: How can we help you, Mr. Powers?
JOSH: Bella, we love your look. Your pale almost ghostly complexion. Those eyes that scream I’ve just had a REALLY rough night. My agency loves you. We want you to model for us.
JACOB: Her?!? What about me? Have you seen my abs?
EDWARD: Um, excuse me, I’m the one whose chest has been described as “cold marble.”
JOSH: It’s Bella we want! She’s going to be a star!
BELLA: But I don’t want to be a star! I just want to feed on the blood of animals and hang out with my hot eternally young husband.
JACOB: Yeah! She wants a normal life!
BELLA: I can’t believe this is happening!
EDWARD: Don’t be upset, spider monkey. Josh, I think you should be going.
JOSH: Oh? Or what?
EDWARD: Or I’ll tear your head off and drink the blood from your dead carcass. I will go Bryce Dallas Howard on your ass.
JOSH: Fair Enough. I can show myself out.
What do you think of the “Breaking Dawn – Part 3” screenplay? Would you pay $10 to see this on the big screen? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter!