Justin Timberlake Is Married: Here Are Your Replacement Crushes

It is with a heavy heart that we type these words, you guys. A heavy, heavy heart, indeed. Justin Timberlake, light of our lives, fire of our loins, has officially tied the knot with longtime ladyfriend Jessica Biel.

The couple confirmed the news to People, saying in a statement: “It’s great to be married, the ceremony was beautiful and it was so special to be surrounded by our family and friends.”

Of course, this is lovely news for the happy newlyweds, and we wish them all the best. But let’s be real: Justin’s departure from the market leaves a giant, yawning void in our crush landscape that no one man could possibly fill. So, while he and the new Mrs. Timberlake enjoy their honeymoon period, we’ll be setting our sights on a new trio of celebs—so that no matter where or in which arm of the entertainment biz Justin’s endeavors earned your adoration, you’ll have a new boy toy to play with.

New actor crush: Taylor Kitsch
Not that we weren’t crushing on Taylor before, but the actor’s all-American charisma and friendly (not to mention devastatingly handsome) face make him a perfect place to channel all the affection we were previously lavishing on Justin in his Hollywood endeavors.

New “SNL” crush: Jay Pharoah
He might not have been an official cast member, but over the years, Justin was a reliably hilarious cameo performer on the popular sketch comedy show. Our pick to take his place in our humor-lovin’ hearts? Jay Pharoah, a quick wit and gifted impersonator who wins on the grounds of being both hot and hilarious.

New pop star crush: Justin Bieber
He’s a brilliant songwriter, he’s got a super-cute face, and he’s all of 18 years old—as in, not likely to get married anytime soon. Could the Biebs be any more perfect for winning the hearts of music-loving ladies who just want someone to bring sexy back? No. No, he could not. (Plus, I mean, his name is Justin, after all…)

Who’s your replacement crush now that Justin Timberlake is off the market?