Natalie Portman Weds Benjamin Millepied

In what was possibly the most discreet celebrity wedding ever to occur in the history of Hollywood, Natalie Portman quietly married her baby-daddy Benjamin Millepied in a private ceremony this weekend…making this the first and last time we’ll ever use the words “baby-daddy” and “Natalie Portman” in the same post. (We do, however, reserve the right to intentionally botch the new bride’s name at least once and refer to her accidentally-on-purpose as “Mrs. Millipede.”)

Few details are known about the wedding (first reported by People), which took place in Big Sur, California, but according to various outlets:
a) it was a Jewish ceremony
b) the couple exchanged vows after dark
c) Ivanka Trump was in attendance

And considering how tight-lipped this couple is about the details of their private lives, we’re lucky to get even that much. But the less info confirmed about the wedding, the more we can all freely trade theories about which celebrity guests might have been in attendance and whether or not the couple’s 14 month-old son Aleph wore a tiny bow tie, so it’s a fair trade, right? Who doesn’t love a good tiny bow tie? NOBODY, that’s who. Mazel tov!

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