‘True Blood’ Recap: ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’

Terry’s crisis of conscience, Bill’s crisis of faith and Andy Bellefleur’s crisis of confidence all came to a head in this week’s minor-plotline-wrapping episode of “True Blood.” Here’s what happened in Bon Temps last night.

No, you can’t
With Hoyt missing, the investigation into the Obamas—the anti-supe hate group, not the Presidential family—intensifies. The pieces are coming together: the Bon Temps cops discover the group’s website, as well as the fact that they answer to a Dragon. (Cue Jason Stackhouse, wide-eyed and panicking: “Oh god, there are dragons now?!”) And Sam and Luna (who’s recovered nicely from her skinwalking experience) sniff around the crime scene and give Andy Bellefleur a lead: the scent of pig excrement.

Meanwhile, Lafayette’s ghost whispering business is booming: Sookie brings him over to investigate the evil vampire spirit in her bathroom, but instead, Laf ends up on the psychic party line with a dozen yammering souls. Among them? Sookie’s granny, who reveals a secret: a box under the bed! Full of stuff! Including an article that pinpoints ex-sheriff Bud Dearborn as the one who discovered her parents’ bodies. Convinced that he’s got the key to Warlow’s identity, Sook pays a visit and tries to read his mind… but takes a frying pan to the head instead, courtesy of Dearborn’s “Sweetie.” Turns out that the square dancing champion is also the anti-supe ringleader!

Which, for once, the Bon Temps police department figures out at the same time as everybody else, at which point multiple plotlines along with most of the cast all converge on Dearborn’s pig farm. Dearborn pitches Sookie and the drugged, unconscious Hoyt into the pig pen; Sam, hidden among the pigs, shifts into human form just in time to catch Sook; a naked scuffle ensues; and Andy Bellefleur bursts in to the barn just in time to shoot Dearborn mid-murderous howl. Oh, and Luna chases down Sweetie and beats the bejeezus out of her. And all was right with the world!

…Oh, except for the part where Russell Edgington has regained control of the Shreveport pack and just presented Luna’s daughter to Steve Newlin as a present.

I frit, you frit, we all frit for Ifrit
With the murdered Iraqi woman’s terms on the table (she’ll lift the curse if one of her killers kills the other), Terry goes looking for his former commander to offer him a fair fight. But Patrick Devins, sneaky bad guy, isn’t playing fair: he kidnaps Arlene, holding her hostage in Merlotte’s in exchange for Terry’s cooperation. Devins gets credit for self-awareness—he doesn’t want a fair fight ’cause he knows he can’t win one—but we still cheered when Arlene stabbed him to save her man. And while it looked for a minute there like Terry wouldn’t be able to bring himself to shoot his comrade in arms, even though said comrade is a dirty coward and wife-napper, the appearance of the Iraqi ghost tips the balance.

“Do what is right,” she says. And what’s right, apparently, is giving Ifrit a nice, bullet-riddled meal of warm Devins. YEAH.

The vampire-ties of religious experience
And so it begins: While a Tru Blood factory burns on the evening news, the new world order of vampire gathers for a celebratory meal of naked, screaming human (with a side of character development, as Steve Newlin’s religious rhyming gets no love from anyone but Russell. Is the good reverend being groomed to take Talbot’s place?). Mainstreaming is out, murder is in, and with newly appointed sheriffs passing down the word that blood is back on the menu—including at Fangtasia, where Pam and Tara watch in horror as their customers revolt—it looks like the vampires’ world takeover is well underway.

And everyone is delighted!

Oh, except Eric Northman; our favorite Viking vampire has officially had enough and begins plotting escape. He just needs a chancellor’s blood to unlock the doors of Authority headquarters—as does Bill, whom Eric assumes is faking his born-again faith in vampire supremacy. But while Eric manipulates Nora into a situation where he can steal her blood, Bill’s biblical fun with Salome takes a turn for the weird: mid-coitus, he sees Sookie in Salome’s place, bites her, then opens his eyes to find himself having sex with the blood-encrusted Lilith. Which…makes sense? That is, if Salome has the same hallucinogenic Kool-Aid in her veins that sits in that glass vial. (Hey, it’s a theory!) But whatever it means, the religious experience is just what the wavering Bill needs to cement his faith and betray Eric to the Authority.

What do you think: Is Bill just game-playing, or is his religious conviction for real? Sound off on last night’s episode of “True Blood” in the comments and on Twitter!